The Essential Joe Morse

So Long, Salvation Army Homeless Shelter

2006-06-12T01:31:00.000-04:00

Well, with about a week to spare, I've found someplace to live after my lease expires on June 30th. If you didn't know it already, my current roommate is going back to grad school at Berkeley, and because our current apartment complex keeps raising our rent, I wanted to find a new place. So this weekend, I signed a lease for a room in a four-bedroom house on N. Wayne street, which is about two blocks away from where I live now.

For the record, searching for a new place on Craigslist blows big time. A lot of the posts lie about things like how close the apartment is to the Metro, and any reasonable ad draws 20-30 people for an open house. Plus, you can't really start looking too far ahead of when you need to move, since most ads are looking for people who can move in no later than the beginning of the next month.

One benefit of moving is that it's a great excuse to have a party; if you're reading this, you're invited to Alex's going-away happy hour on June 23rd, and to my probable housewarming party on June 24th (still unconfirmed).

Speed Trap

2006-06-12T01:27:00.000-04:00

Public Service Announcement:

Most Saturdays and Sundays, there's a speed trap on northbound Lee Highway in Arlington, somewhere around N. Cleveland street. How do I know? I've never been caught by it, but I can see it out the window of my apartment. The police car is always unmarked and usually catches about four cars an hour.

The Express

2006-06-12T00:43:00.000-04:00

Every morning by the Court House metro station elevator, a nice lady named Wendy hands out copies of The Express, which is the free morning newspaper published by the Washington Post. I'm pretty sure Wendy doesn't like me very much. The problem is, probably 75-80% of the commuters getting on the elevator take a copy of the paper from her. I never do, and I think she's mildly offended by this. There are a few reasons I never take the paper, the primary ones being that I'm usually already carrying my laptop or my lunch, it's usually too crowded on the train to read anyway, and I always read the Washington Post online at lunch. But of course, Wendy doesn't know this, and so every day for the past year when she looks at me and earnestly asks if I'd care for a copy of the Express, I say no and she seems vaguely disappointed.

Now of course, she may not care at all, and may not even have any idea who I am. I've been riding Metro to work four days a week for most of the past year, but I'm sure hundreds of people take that elevator each morning, and I'm sure there are regulars who have been there far longer than I have. One of my favorite quotes is something to the effect that you wouldn't care what others thought of you if you realized how rarely they actually do. So maybe she isn't bothered by me at all. But I still feel kind of bad.

I wonder if I'd feel the same way in Las Vegas if the "Girls To You In 30 Minutes" workers asked me really nicely "Would you care for a graphic flyer of cheap hookers?"

Sunglasses

2006-06-12T00:10:00.000-04:00

Now I certainly don't claim to have any fashion sense whatsoever. But I've really got to question this trend of wearing enormous sunglasses that cover 90% of your face and make you look like a mosquito. There were two or three girls who came up to me at Foxfields to say hi, and I couldn't recognize them because so much of their faces were hidden. Doesn't this seem like a trend destined to be parodied by our children, like bellbottoms and leisure suits are? Doesn't anyone realize the last person to wear sunglasses like those was the Unabomber?

VROOM

2006-04-16T22:56:00.000-04:00

I finally got my new car on April 12th. It has a black convertible roof, 300HP 4.6L V8 engine, leather seats, and an awesome factor of 1000. If you want a ride, let me know, and I'll let you put your hand on the passenger door handle before I speed off yelling 'So long, sucker!!!'

Note: if you smell something burning in these pictures, that's the car's clutch. I'm still getting used to driving stick regularly.

Prank Call

2006-03-19T17:35:00.000-05:00

Occasionally, when we have 15-20 minutes to wait for a train in a Metro station, Paul and I will make prank calls to 1-800 numbers (hey it beats throwing stuff at the third rail). Yesterday on our way out, Paul came up with my favorite call to date:

Gamblers Anonymous (woman): Hello?
Paul: Oh sweet! I just bet my friend $200 that a woman would pick up when I called this number. Dude! Pay up - a chick answered!
Gamblers Anonymous (woman): (Hangs up immediately)

I hope I still find stuff like this funny when I'm 50 years old.

I live at a rest stop?

2006-02-13T22:26:00.000-05:00

VDOT, in its continuing brilliance, has recently put up Gas/Food/Lodging signs for some exits on I-66 inside the Beltway (mine, exit 72, is one of them). This may be the dumbest idea I've seen in a long time.

First, do they seriously have nothing better to spend $200,000 on? Because I can give them a list of about 500 projects that would be a more productive use of those funds (repaving Wilson Boulevard in Ballston, for example, or repaving Lee Highway at Danville St.)

Second, who is using these signs? Right now, THEY'RE ALL BLANK. This is one of those projects that doesn't work so well if you only do it half-way. And even if these signs did have accurate lists of restaurants, hotels, and gas stations, who would find this information useful? Probably 90% of the traffic on I-66 inside the Beltway is local traffic; anyone driving farther north would have taken I-495 around the city. So basically, they're there to tell people like me, who live in Court House, that if I want to get off an exit earlier, I could stay the night at the Marriott in Ballston. Gee, thanks. These signs are useful on interstates that cut through the middle of nowhere, where the only places to eat are spaced 40 miles apart. They're not useful in urban Arlington County.

I suppose it's possible that the merchants who will be listed on these signs are paying for them in their entirety; if that's the case the program would be marginally better, but would still be a colossal waste of manpower that could have been doing something else. Not to mention a fairly stupid use of profits for any store that wants to put its name up there.

The last possibility, of course, is that VDOT is trying to appeal to crazy protesters who come to Washington on the spur of the moment, then get close to the city an realize they have no place to stay. I guess that IS a growing demographic.

What are they smoking?? (Oh...right)

2006-02-07T22:37:00.000-05:00

Update: 2-13-06
Apparently after I posted this entry, the DC council jumped on my blog, read my strong condemnation of their actions, felt remorse, went back to work, and passed a revised lease just four hours later. Good for them. Except, of course, the new lease contains a hard cap on construction costs, which "deeply concerns" Major League baseball. This doesn't bother me too much, since the fact that they passed SOMETHING makes it pretty clear that they'll probably eventually get a deal done. And as I mentioned before, they do have a valid argument in that the owner of the team that will be using the stadium is usually responsible for at least some of the cost. But the fact remains, the DC council has been extremely flaky on this issue, and their latest actions only perpetuate their reputation for disorganization and childishness.

-----------

The DC council voted 8-5 to reject the stadium lease agreement proposed by Mayor Williams. What are they holding out for? Free foam fingers? The dispute is probably going to go to arbitration now, which will most likely benefit Major League Baseball. Personally I think they already got screwed by being forced to build a brand new stadium without any help from the future owner of the team, so I don't really understand why they're trying to take a stand this late in the game. In any case, the best case outcome from this is that an arbitrator steps in and settles things quickly, which would still mean the team would be without an owner (or much of a payroll) for a few more months. Worst case, the team leaves after this season. If that occurs, the entirety of the District of Columbia should be immediately retroceded to Maryland, and the city government disbanded.

Updates

2006-02-07T21:51:00.000-05:00

My Alito prediction was pretty damn close - he was confirmed 58-42 instead of 59-41. And the only reason I didn't hit it dead on was that Sen. Chafee, who I assumed had to vote yes because it would be easier to defend that vote in the general election than a no vote in his primary, voted no anyway. What an idiot (unless he can survive the primary, in which case it will probably help a decent amount). Also, the reason the Dems that did vote in favor of Alito was almost uniformly not because they wanted to return civility to the judicial nomination process, but because they were Senators from really Republican states (Sen. Byrd's motivation was the exception, I believe).

Lots more songs with people's names in them - Jeremy by Pearl Jam, Jenny Says by Cowboy Mouth, and a couple from the Killers' first album (one for each side I think). Anyway the list could go on forever; my point is still valid.

Didn't realize "Hard to Handle" by the Black Crowes is a cover of an Otis Redding (I think) original. That's a huge improvement right there.

Less than a year after WHFS bit the dust, Z104 has followed suit. 104.1FM is now a classical station, and 103.5 is now news radio (I could have that reversed). Now I'll be honest, I didn't really listen to Z104 that much, and it certainly didn't remind me of high school like 99.1 did. But the DC area is already terrible in terms of rock radio stations, and it's annoying to lose a station that at least played rock sometimes. I have six preset buttons on my car radio, and right now I really only use four (Classic Rock 94.7, DC101, 98 Rock from Baltimore, and 88.5 for when I plug my iPod into my iTrip FM broadcaster). Pretty sad stuff.

Cover Songs

2006-01-24T23:46:00.000-05:00

After hearing the Counting Crows awful, awful cover of Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" on the radio the other day, I started trying to think of covered songs that I thought were better than the originals. Not surprisingly, there aren't very many:

- All Along the Watchtower (Jimi Hendrix covering Bob Dylan)
- With A Little Help From My Friends (Joe Cocker covering the Beatles)
- Landslide (Smashing Pumpkins covering Fleetwood Mac)
- Live and Let Die (Guns 'N' Roses covering the Beatles)
- Come Together (Aerosmith covering the Beatles)
- Blinded by the Light (Manfred Mann's Earth Band covering Bruce Springsteen)

Ok that's pretty much it - this post didn't have much point other than me putting up that list. Although I suppose it's interesting to wonder why so many bands try to cover old songs when they're probably just going to sound bad. And to appreciate the timelessness of the Beatles' songwriting.

Side note: The all-time unquestionable worst cover ever is Kid Rock's version of The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes".

I've Been Inclined

2006-01-24T23:30:00.000-05:00

When I was little, I was always kind of jealous that my sister had her own song (Sweet Caroline), and I didn't. Later on, I found out that there IS a song with my name in it (Hey Joe) but it's about a guy killing his wife and running away to Mexico after she cheats on him. So I don't know how much of an improvement that is. Anyway, that got me to thinking that there are a ton of songs out there with girl's names in their titles, but almost none with guy's names. Here's the list I came up with off the top of my head:

Girls:
- Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond)
- Gloria (Van Morrison)
- Jessica (Allman Brothers)
- Melissa (Allman Brothers)
- Maria (Green Day)
- Cecilia (Simon and Garfunkel)
- Allison (Elvis Costello)
- Josie (Blink 182)
- Jane Says (Jane's Addiction)
- Janie's Got A Gun (Aerosmith)
- Barbara Ann (Beach Boys)
- Roxanne (Police)
- Michelle (Beatles)

Guys:
- Hey Joe (Jimi Hendrix)
- Daniel (Elton John)
- Vincent (Don McLean)

Now certainly, not all of those songs with girls in the title are exactly flattering (Janie's Got A Gun, I believe, is about child abuse). But the fact remains that there are a lot more of them. Is this just an anomaly in the type of music I listen to? Maybe. But I think the real reason is just that girls are more inspiring.

Alito Prediction

2006-01-24T23:09:00.000-05:00

The Senate Judiciary Committee approved Samuel A. Alito, Jr. for a full Senate confirmation vote today. The committee vote was 10-8, party line, which was expected. The full vote should come sometime this week, and it too should fall roughly along party lines. If I had to guess, my prediction would be something like 59-41 to be exact, since he shouldn't lose any Republican votes (if he does, it will probably be Collins or Snowe since Chafee has a tough primary challenge coming up this summer), and my hope is that there will be at least a few Democrats who recognize that the parties need to go back to almost always giving each other deference on nominations (the only Dem publicly announced as voting yes is Ben Nelson, which isn't surprising since he's been holding the Zell Miller Memorial DINO award for a few years now).

Anyway, don't expect this nomination to cause a major seismic shift on the Supreme Court. While Alito is certainly conservative, he isn't any farther right-wing than Scalia or Thomas, and the fact that he's replacing a more moderate Justice in Sandra Day O'Connor is offset by Anthony Kennedy's recent transformation from "reliably moderate conservative" to "swing vote". The real thing to watch for is whether or not 83 year old John Paul Stevens keels over before Bush leaves office. Stevens is a solid liberal, and even a moderate replacement for him would dramatically alter the balance of the court. Supposedly though, he's in great shape (for being, you know, 83 years old).

Milk

2006-01-24T22:59:00.000-05:00

The first time I bought milk in 2006, the carton I got had the same expiration date as the one I had purchased four days earlier (I think I caught Giant in the middle of a weird holiday season delivery schedule). But this got me thinking: who ever buys the cartons of milk with the earlier expiration dates? Why would you ever do that? The cartons certainly exist - there are always two or three different groups of dates in the display case, even among the same type of milk (skim, 2%, 1%, etc.). But who ever says "oh, poor Safeway, looks like they're overstocked - I better take some of this not-as-fresh milk today, or I bet it won't sell at all!" Even if you're going to drink it before it expires, why not get the freshest carton you can? Maybe those jugs never sell, and they're just there to fill up space on the shelf?

The one exception to this rule, of course, is Harris Teeter Homo milk, which obviously should be avoided whenever possible:

Screen Name

2006-01-09T01:12:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking about changing my screen name. Seinfeld has been off the air for a while and in a few more years, I might not want the year I was born in my screen name. Update to come; opinions welcome.

"Birthday" Party

2006-01-09T01:09:00.000-05:00

My roommate Alex and I were originally going to have a joint birthday party when we got back from China at the end of October, since my birthday is in September and his is in December. However, we're really lazy, so we didn't actually get around to planning it until now. So if you're in town on Saturday January 28th, you should stop by the Adams Mill bar in Adams Morgan. We've got the top floor reserved from 8pm to 11pm, and everyone who comes can get dollar-off beers and mixed drinks. After 11, you can't get the specials any more, but you should still buy us stuff anyway.

The Sun Also Rises

2006-01-09T00:48:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading The Sun Also Rises last week, and I'd say it's probably one of the top five or ten books I've ever read in my life. Hemingway has the ability to say a lot with a very small number of words, and I always enjoy reading clear, concise prose over meandering, verbose stories. Couple that with an interesting plot and some fantastic descriptions of bullfighting, and it would have been worth reading outright. However, what made this book so interesting for me was the number of times that I literally tapped the page after reading a quote or paragraph that elucidated EXACTLY what I felt about a certain situation or type of person. The book was published in 1926 and deals with the generation that came of age during World War I, but many of the observations Hemingway makes are timeless, and I think they can be understood now just as well as they were back then.

The downside of finishing a great book, of course, is that I now don't have a whole lot to read, and probably won't read anything that good again for a while. Ah well, maybe I'll go back to my list from a few months ago.

Side note: If ever there was proof that the best way to write is to write what you know, it's Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway was an expatriate American writer who lived in Paris and traveled frequently in Spain when he wrote The Sun Also Rises, which is about an expatriate American writer who lives in Paris and travels to Spain. His other most famous novel (which I haven't read) is A Farewell to Arms, which chronicles the life of a badly wounded World War I ambulance driver in Italy. When Hemingway was 18, he volunteered to drive ambulances for the U.S. Army in Italy, where he was badly wounded and discharged.

It's a Mental Handicap

2006-01-08T23:46:00.000-05:00

As you may or may not know, I hurt my leg playing flag football in the middle of December, and was on crutches for about two weeks. Naturally, the first thing I tried to do once I realized I couldn't walk was get a temporary handicapped parking permit. My goal was to get one that lasted until the end of January (in Virginia they're only granted in one-month intervals), but failing that, at least until the end of December. Fortunately, the nurse practitioner I saw at the doctor's office wasn't exactly on top of things. Essentially, at my first visit, she had no idea what was wrong with my leg (hematoma, as it turned out), and wrote me a PRESCRIPTION for crutches (which got a nice laugh when I tried to fill it at CVS). She made up for that embarrassment, however, by signing my DMV form on my follow-up visit to give me a handicapped permit through the end of February (again, completely without prodding from me).

Now, approximately two weeks later, my leg is completely healed, and I have the interesting moral dilemma of whether or not to keep using the permit. To be fair, I actually did need the permit when I originally applied for it, and when the nurse filled it out, I had no idea when it really was going to heal. Technically, according to the DMV, I'm supposed to "return the permit when it is no longer needed". Well, fat chance. A surprising number of people have told me I shouldn't use it, or that they would be embarrassed to use it, but I've mostly ignored them. The only time I would feel any qualms about parking in a handicapped spot is if there was only one left, meaning there was a chance I could cause a Seinfeldian accident for someone who really did need to use it. But in general, I think most parking lots have way too many handicapped spaces (like my apartment building, which has three, none of which are ever taken), and I feel like this is my chance to even the score a little.

And if anyone ever challenges me on the validity of my injury when I park in a handicapped spot, I'll just shrug and sprint away.

RPAces

2006-01-05T00:09:00.000-05:00

Note: this post was created to explain the rules of RPAces and the tournament we're having next Saturday; it's not really meant to be funny or entertaining. In fact, it probably sounds pretty lame (and in fact it IS pretty lame). But you should come anyway if you're in the area, because when it comes down to it, it's just another good excuse to get hammered.

Introduction

RPAces was invented in January 2004 at Bally's Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. It was first created as a means of rationing out the dwindling supply of hard liquor we had on our trip, but to this day, due to its unique entertainment value, it is still played by at least several people. Its name is a combination of our college softball team (the Rolando Paulino All-Stars, after the New York Little League team that forfeited its title for playing with a 14 year-old ringer from the Dominican Republic) and of Aces, which are the only significant cards in the game.

Basic Gameplay

A standard deck of cards is spread out on a table, face down, and players take turns drawing a card from the pile. If a player draws an ace, he or she must drink. The game ends when the fourth ace has been drawn. The game is suitable for 1 to 52 players.

Tournament Play

An RPAces tournament consists of a bracket single-elimination head-to-head games (similar to the NCAA Basketball Championship). The WINNER of a game is defined as the person who draws the fewest number of aces. In the (frequent) event of a tie, the participants play another COMPLETE game. There is no limit to the number of overtimes that can occur; hence, there is no limit on the number of shots one player can take during a tournament. In the event the number of entrants in a championship event is not a square number, byes are assigned randomly.

Additional Rules

For tournament play, a drink is DEFINED STRICTLY as taking a shot, shotgunning a beer, or bonging a beer. In friendly games, chugging a beer and taking a quaffer are usually also allowed.

Vomiting during a game results in immediate disqualification from the game; vomiting in between games of a tournament results in immediate disqualification from the tournament.

If one person draws all four aces in a game, EVERY player in the game takes a shot.

In games of more than two players, the person with the best poker hand (consisting of five cards or less) at the end gets to give out a shot to ANY player in the game.

Players are required to draw at least one card during their turn. However, there is no maximum number of cards that can be drawn in a single turn. Taking several can be advantageous when looking for a good poker hand, or for the pure intimidation factor.

Games with at least eight players can play "Aces and Ripkens", where drawing an eight carries the same penalty as drawing an ace. Games with at least twelve players can play "Aces, Ripkens, and Favres", where both fours and eights carry the same penalty as aces.

Players can drink any type of liquor or beer that they choose. Liquor must be at least 70 proof.

Notes

The RPAces National Championship is held every January to mark the game's founding. The first place winner receives an elegant plaque, valued at $3.

The chances of 51 cards being drawn before the final ace is drawn is 1/13 (about 7.5%)

The minimum number of shots a player can take in an RPAces tournament is three (by losing 1-3 in the first round, or by winning a three-round tournament with one ace in each round). If you can't take three shots, you shouldn't play, and you should really take a hard look at your life.

The quickest game of RPAces ever played was a three-person game in which Paul Anderson drew aces on his first three cards, and drew the fourth ace on his seventh card.

When Bruce Springsteen was 24 years old, he was recording "Born to Run". When Ernest Hemingway was 24, he was writing "The Sun Also Rises".

How To Defeat Nature

2005-12-05T02:02:00.000-05:00

Here's a tip for everyone who hates getting shocked by static electricity when getting out of the car (which I assume is everyone; you'd have to be pretty weird to enjoy that):

When you sit in a car with fabric seats for any significant period of time, static electricity will build up in your body, and it will become very anxious to discharge. When you get out of the car and reach towards something metallic (like the outside of the car door), the static electricity in your body will jump through your fingers to the car. This hurts. The solution is to have the electricity jump from something other than your body on to the door; an easy object to use is your car key. Just grab the top of the metallic part of your key with your hand, and then touch the end of the key to the outside of the car before you touch the car with any other part of your body. The static electricity you've built up while driving will flow through the key and jump from the end of the key to the car door, producing a cool sound but no pain.

Note: if you screw this up and light yourself on fire or something; I'm not liable.

Reunion Isn't Just a Terrible Show on FOX

2005-12-05T02:00:00.000-05:00

I had my five-year high school reunion on the Friday after Thanksgiving. It was fun, but I've got to be honest - I'm a little disappointed in my class. No one has won a Pulitzer prize yet, or cured cancer, or become a millionaire entrepreneur. Everyone is in grad school, or working as a consultant (yes, I'm aware I'm not helping things). Also, at least of the people who came, I didn't think anyone had changed that radically since high school. I was hoping someone had put on 300 lbs. or become a stripper, but the closest I saw was a few people who had grown beards or started wearing glasses. Ah well, there's always the ten-year reunion I guess.

As an interesting side note, I saw maybe 20-25 people at the reunion that I had not had any contact with whatsoever since graduation. In the week following that event, I ran into THREE of those people again (two on the metro, one at a bar). Strange.

AL MVP

2005-11-15T01:14:00.000-05:00

So Alex Rodriguez won the AL MVP award today by about 25 points over David Ortiz; obviously I'm pretty disappointed. I won't say that A-Rod is undeserving though - the award is based on the regular season, not the postseason, and he did put up big numbers. Plus, Ortiz was a designated hitter, and under most circumstances, I would have had a difficult time casting a vote for a DH, since I hate the position (if you can even call it a position) so much. And unfortunately, this race ended up being about A-Rod vs. the DH, not A-Rod vs. Big Papi. The ironic part is, if Ortiz had played 140 games as a mediocre first baseman (which he could have done), he would have won the award in a landslide, since his clutch home runs would have been no match for a few more points in the fielding percentage column. Ah well, at least he has a ring, right?

Why My Kids Will Be Messed Up

2005-11-15T00:57:00.000-05:00

To my knowledge, I don't have any kids at the moment. But I was thinking the other day that when I do, they're going to have a very difficult time getting a straight answer from me. Those of you who know me know I have a tendency to respond to simple questions with sarcastic answers, and I don't believe most three-year-olds understand sarcasm very well. This could lead to the following exchanges:

Joe Jr.: Why is the sky blue?
Me: You think the sky looks blue? There must be something wrong with your eyes! Quick, we have to go to the doctor!!
Joe Jr. Mooommmmmyyyy!!!!

Joe Jr.: Where do babies come from?
Me: Umm, sometimes monkeys evolve REALLY quickly; when that happens, the zookeepers just put them in a box by the gate for parents to take for free.
Joe Jr: Ooh, can we go to the zoo tomorrow?

Of course, if my wife doesn't end up hating me, this should make my kids a lot less gullible in the long run. Plus, sometimes kids will take things literally no matter what. The hardest I've laughed in the last month was after overhearing this conversation at Wal-Mart:

Three-year-old-daughter: Mommy why did you put that shirt back?
Mother: It wasn't my size, honey, it was a Large - that's too big for me.
Three-year-old daughter: Nu-uh, you look pretty large to me!

Books

2005-11-15T00:18:00.000-05:00

Recently, I left up a few away messages encouraging all of you to send me book recommendations. After some prodding, I got an impressive array of responses, including some from friends I hadn't talked to in a while. To everyone who responded, I say thank you, and to everyone who didn't, I say maybe you should turn off your TiVo for a weekend or two.

So who won? Whose suggested novel did I end up reading first? The answer: no one's. I went to the library and pulled 15-20 books off the shelf, ultimately checking out about ten of them, including several that you guys told me to look at. But the one I ended up grabbing first, and subsequently blitzing through in four days, was one that nobody I knew had explicitly recommended. It was a book called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, by Mark Haddon, which I had seen several people reading on the Metro and at the office, and whose dust-jacket description sounded interesting to me. The book is narrated by a 13-year-old autistic savant who is attempting to figure out who killed his neighbor's dog (I guessed correctly on page 21), and ends up unraveling much more than he expected. The story is unique, as the jacket points out, in that the choice of narrator means "[t]he most wrenching of emotional moments are chronicled by a boy who cannot fathom emotion." It's a great read; I recommend it to all.

Now, lest I leave you with only one recommendation after you gave so many to me, I am listing below all of the suggestions I got, as well as some additional novels I checked out. Hopefully, if you're looking for something to read (and HOPEFULLY you are), you'll find inspiration below. As a disclaimer, this list doesn't include the recommendations I can't remember off the top of my head, nor the title of the nonfiction book on the Middle East that Royden sent me, which I wrote down on a piece of paper and promptly lost.

- The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, by Michael Chabon
- Catch-22, by Joseph Heller
- The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand
- The Life of Pi, by Yann Martel (note: this won second place, and I'm already 2/3 of the way through it, although that is a bit misleading because I recently spent five hours flying to and from Florida with nothing else to do. Thanks to Chris for the suggestion and Alex and Cara for voicing their support).
- Capitalism, the Unknown Ideal, by Ayn Rand
- Angela's Ashes, by Frank McCourt (note: I made a conscious decision not to check this out, because while I probably would have read it, it wouldn't have been until after four or five other books on my list. This is the second or third time I've made an attempt to read it, only to not follow through in the end. Does this make me a bad Irish person? Is this the equivalent of Jerry Seinfeld making out with his date during Schindler's List?)
- Giraffes? Giraffes! (Giraffes? Giraffes!), by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey
- The American Language, by H.L. Mencken
- The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway

Alan "John Galt" Greenspan

2005-11-03T00:29:00.000-05:00

Did you know retiring Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan used to hang out with Ayn Rand? Check it out:

http://www.taemag.com/issues/articleid.16149/article_detail.asp

That guy's stock just went WAY up in my book (pun sort of intended).

Potts for Governor

2005-11-02T23:53:00.000-05:00

Ever since the 2005 election season got going, I had assumed I would vote independent candidate H. Russell Potts Jr. Kaine was too liberal as mayor of Richmond for me to feel comfortable electing him, and Jerry Kilgore seemed like your standard unintelligent Republican party hack. But as the date got closer to election day, I started to change my mind, and here's why:

Kilgore was beginning to appear as more than just a party hack - he was an embarrassment. He couldn't handle simple questions in the debates, he refused to speak much or tackle difficult issues, and worst of all, he resorted to extremely negative campaign ads that featured unimportant wedge issues (death penalty, immigration). At the same time, Kaine was coming across as smooth, and if nothing else, honest. His position on the death penalty is very close to mine, and I applaud him for taking a nuanced stance when he could have resorted to platitudes in the face of attacks from his opponent. Furthermore, I reasoned, electing a liberal governor wouldn't be that terrible in a state with a mostly conservative Republican legislature; in fact, it might be for the best. The crazy social bills that get championed every once in a while would get vetoed, while any attempt at another serious tax increase would die in committee. And best of all, a Kaine victory would possibly bump Governor Warner's national profile slightly higher, since it would show his influence can carry over to other elections.

So why am I voting for Potts then? Well, it's simple. Governor Warner's comprehensive budget last year addressed virtually every glaring need in the state except one: transportation. So clearly, this election should turn on how to rectify that omission, right? Wrong. Neither of the major party candidates could come up with an intelligent solution that they could pay for, so they pretty much skirted the issue. Part of me thinks this is because neither one hails from the metro DC area, but I thought Governor Warner would have made it a top priority of his, since he used to live in Alexandria, and I was wrong. So I think it's mostly that it's too tough of an issue, and neither candidate was up to the challenge. Potts, in all honesty, hasn't been THAT much better. He supports rail to Dulles, which I don't, and his solutions seem like they would be a little bit tax-happy. But he's also in favor of public-private partnerships for roads, which are just starting to emerge up here and which I think will be a huge success. And most importantly, he's willing to sit down and attack the issue immediately, meaning there's a chance we might notice a positive change before he leaves office.

As a last note, I don't want to give the impression that Jerry Kilgore is the second coming of Warren Harding. The Post has a good profile of him today, which points out that he's really been a behind-the-scenes kind of guy for most of his political career. The problem is, those types of guys can't deviate from their scripts very much, and that's a bad characteristic for a governor to have.

Ok, that's it for endorsements for now. I'll try and write about the LG and AG races if I have time, but in any case, make sure you vote. It probably won't make a difference, but at least you'll get a cool sticker and earn the right to complain.

Back in the U.S.A.

2005-11-02T23:43:00.000-05:00

China was fantastic. If you want more details (including pictures), go to http://china-trip-2005.blogspot.com/

(Of course, since that's been in my AIM profile for the last two weeks, you've probably already seen it. But just in case.)

Tennis

2005-09-19T02:18:00.000-04:00

I think tennis is going to get really hot in the next few years. The last time it was a truly popular sport was in the late '70s (I'm not counting 2 billion Google searches for 'Anna Kournikova' as popular), and it's due for a resurgence. A similar thing happened to golf - it peaked in the '70s, died off for about two decades, and is undergoing a renaissance that began in the late '90s. But just in general, I've seen a lot more interest in the sport among my friends and coworkers of late. I know six people from D.C. that went and saw the U.S. Open in New York on Labor Day weekend (independent of each other), and I've seen people playing with an increased frequency over the last year or two. Plus, ESPN needs something to help them slowly phase out hockey highlights from their shows, and Anna Kournikova has been replaced by an equally blazingly hot star in Maria Sharapova, who actually wins tournaments. So tennis could be primed for a run. The last time I saw a peak in interest like this among my friends was with poker around 2002, and anyone who has turned on NBC, ESPN, ESPN2, the Travel Channel, Bravo, the History Channel, or the Discovery Channel recently knows what happened with that.

Thank God Andre Aggasi doesn't still have that mullet, otherwise an increase in tennis highlights on TV might be unbearable.

New Orleans

2005-09-19T02:00:00.000-04:00

- Please, please donate some money. If you need a reason, just try and imagine living in the Superdome with 20,000 other people, no water, no food, no air conditioning, and no bathrooms for four days. Or ask me for some of the horror stories I've heard from my family and friends who live down there.

- If you can't find a link to a site where you can donate, you are probably blind, deaf, and living under a rock. If that's the case, keep your money.

- New Orleans IS (not was) one of my favorite cities in the U.S. Rest assured, the historic, cultural, and tourist sections of the city will rebound quickly, although it will take a very long time before its population is back to what it once was.

- This is a bad event to play for a political purpose. The President is a Republican, the Governor and Mayor are Democrats, but that's not the main point. What the key thing to realize is that this was a natural disaster that has been predicted for probably over 150 years, and you know what, there's really only so much anyone can do. We still can't control the weather.

- Seriously, donate. What, are you hoping someday to get buried in a solid gold coffin?

Senate v. Roberts

2005-09-19T00:55:00.000-04:00

The lead editorial in the New York Times today advocated a "no" vote from the U.S. Senate on John Roberts' nomination to be Chief Justice. This surprised me a lot, but I guess just shows how insanely politicized the confirmation process has become. The Times opposed the nomination on the grounds that Roberts was still "too much of an enigma". Well, here's a secret. If he had answered every question the NYT wanted him to, I can bet 100% they still would have opposed the nomination. Roberts was the best nominee the Democratic Party (and the Times, its newsletter) could have hoped for. Senators who vote against Roberts are essentially saying there are no nominees President Bush could make that would get their support; the Washington Post explained this in a MUCH better op-ed piece today. The views of anyone nominated for the Supreme Court will be directly related to the views of the party that holds the White House.

What is the larger significance of this article? Well, it shows there is a decent chance the Democratic party could do something catastrophically stupid - vote in large numbers against soon-to-be-Justice Roberts. Having less than 70% of the senate support Roberts would send a clear message from the Dems to President Bush: "We don't care if you nominate Hammurabi, Jesus, and John Marshall rolled in to one. We're not voting for him." This would give GW free reign to nominate anyone he wanted for the other vacancy on the court, caused by the retirement of Sandra Day O'Connor in June. Because if the Democrats can't prove to the public that they can be reasonable, the Republicans sure aren't going to bother trying to appease them. And the result will be the most conservative nominee the White House thinks can get 51 of the 55 Republican senate votes.

So are the Dems that stupid? I think most of them are not. My over-under on "Yes" votes for Roberts is 76; my guess on the nominee to replace O'Connor is Edith H. Jones of the 5th circuit. Feel free to bet amongst yourselves.

Restaurant Reviews

2005-08-18T21:34:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Washington D.C.'s Restaurant Week and some other random events, I've had the opportunity to eat at several nice restaurants over the past month or so. Here are some brief reviews, in no particular order:

Michel Richard's Citronelle:
Regularly listed as one of the best restaurants in DC, and I guess for the most part, it lived up to the hype. This is the second time I've eaten there, and I've enjoyed all three courses both times. However, I don't know that I'm enough of a gourmand to appreciate the difference between Citronelle and a slightly cheaper nice restaurant, like Colvin Run Tavern or Al Tiramisu. So if you go, try and do it on someone else's dime.

P.F. Chiang's:
The benefit of going to a high-end chain restaurant is that even picky diners will find something to eat; nevertheless, I think my sister still complained that her food was too spicy. I had a very good fish entree as well as the lettuce wraps for an appetizer. Several people I talked to had me convinced these were the best thing since sliced bread (half-pun not really intended), but I didn't think they were anything that spectacular. Still, definitely a good place to go, especially if you have a large group or just want a fancier Chinese dinner than the one you can get at Panda Express.

15 ria:
The best appetizer I had in the last month was here - a crumbled goat cheese and baby arugula salad with fresh peaches and some sort of vinaigrette. Appetizer and dessert were decent too. Dining room was packed in a little tight, possibly because of restaurant week.

701:
I had butterfish as an entree, which I had never heard of before (although not as exotic as the ostrich I got at Beduci one time). It turned out to be pretty good. All of the desserts at my table were excellent as well. The dining room is a little dark, even for a high-end restaurant.

Ray's The Steaks:
Easily the best of all the restaurants I've mentioned so far. It was the first time I'd been there, and it was fantastic. The trimmings on the house special (NY strip with crumbled blue cheese and a brandied mushroom sauce) go really well with the steak and red wine. The sides were good too - spinach and mashed potatoes, but you can see why steak is in the name of the restaurant. And the fact that the restaurant itself resembles an unfinished basement is offset by the fact that everything is dirt cheap. After one meal, I'd say it's up with Jaleo on my short list of favorite restaurants in DC.

Bottom line: I pretty much think every meal that doesn't involve my cooking is delicious, so these reviews may not be that helpful. But if you're willing to spend $50-$60 a person on a meal, remember that there are a LOT of places in the city to choose from, so try and hold out for someplace that's exactly what you want.

I Couldn't Make These Up If I Tried

2005-08-05T01:52:00.000-04:00

First, what has Newt Gingrich been up to since he was pushed out as Speaker of the House by his own party? Find out here! Too lazy to read? (I understand). My favorite quote from the article serves as a nice summary: "Consuming speed-readable escapist international spy fiction occupies a significant chunk of Newt's downtime, it seems." Great stuff. When I sent the link to my Mom, she initially thought it was from The Onion.

Second, did you go to Auburn? If so, I'd suggest rechecking the value of your investment in a college education:
Q&A With Kenny Irons
This is arguably the best sports interview since Mike Tyson told reporters he feared, after his career was over, that he would "just fade into Bolivian". Still, I'm sure he runs pretty well, so maybe we should see about relaxing UVa's admission standards a little bit (er, a lot).

Sad News

2005-08-05T01:30:00.000-04:00

You may or may not have heard about Arthur Teele, the former Miami City Commissioner who committed suicide last week in the lobby of the Miami Herald building. The full story can be found here:

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-artteele,0,6961122.story?coll=sfla-home-headlines

The whole incident is pretty sad; apparently Teele was just indicted on corruption charges, and was about to be the subject of some very sordid articles in a competing newspaper. I didn't dwell on the story very much until my parents brought it up in a conversation a few days ago. Apparently Mr. Teele used to be my dad's boss at the Department of Transportation, about 20 years ago. Just goes to show how much people's lives can change over time, I guess.

Sino-mite!

2005-08-05T01:18:00.000-04:00

Update on the last post: Alex and I are now officially going to Beijing, from October 12th to 22nd. I think ten days should be enough to get a decent feel for what the country is really like, especially if we make an effort to get out of the city. But right now, our plans are very much up in the air, so if you've ever been over there, please feel free to send along some suggestions.

On the downside, I will be missing a few things back in the States: my company's quarterly meeting and reception at the National Aquarium (eh), my Dad's birthday (October 16th, oops), and a good chunk of the baseball playoffs (this actually does suck). Ah well, I did just buy the complete, unedited broadcasts of every game of the 2004 ALCS and World Series, so I suppose I can bring those along to watch on the plane.

Side note: I've never been seriously jet-lagged before, but the flight back takes 16 hours and only goes from 4:30pm to 8:30pm. So I might be a little out of it that Sunday.

Great Trip Forward

2005-07-26T02:33:00.000-04:00

My roommate Alex and I have pretty much decided that we're going to take a week of vacation in China sometime in October. Alex has a friend who works in Beijing and speaks fluent Mandarin, so we won't be completely lost when we get over there. For the most part, however, we'll be on our own, and I'm completely open to suggestions for what to do while we're there. I've never been outside of North America before, so if you've got some ideas on how to maximize enjoyment in a completely foreign culture, send them my way (Quebec doesn't count). Right now I think the only thing definitely on our itenerary is a trip to the Great Wall, and a lot of (hopefully) authentic restaurants.

Alright, I'm going to go pick up a copy of Fodor's Guide to China, Zagat's Best of Beijing, and How To Hit On Women Who Don't Speak English. If you want a souvenir from the trip, talk to Alex.

Bill Mueller

2005-07-26T02:12:00.000-04:00

During the Red Sox vs. Devil Rays game on ESPN today, Tony Gwynn made a comment along the lines of the following: "The thing that really epitomizes the Boston lineup is a guy like Bill Mueller. Here you have a solid hitter, a guy who won the batting title two years ago, and he's batting eighth."

Now, I obviously think that the Red Sox have one of the best lineups in Major League Baseball, and I doubt many people would disagree with me. But claiming that they're SO good that they can stick a guy who won a batting title (and thus clearly must be great for the rest of his career) at the bottom of the order is disingenuous.

Single-season titles are often won during fluke years, and Mueller's batting title was no exception. He's a career .290 hitter who is batting in the .270s this year, and probably deserves to be hitting eighth. Saying the Sox lineup must be good because he's batting so low is like saying the Jackson Five must have been good because Tito and LaToya were only singing backup.

Interesting parallel: in 1970, Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski lost the batting title to the Angels' Alex Johnson by about .001. In 2003, Mueller beat out Manny Ramirez for the batting title by about .001 (and probably only because Manny sat out the last day of the season). Now, Yaz is in the Hall of Fame, and Ramirez is well on his way. Alex Johnson, meanwhile, is probably helping out Tom Emanski at a baseball camp somewhere. Where do you think Mueller will fall in that spectrum?

Note: I still love Bill Mueller and will soon be purchasing the 12-DVD set of every game from the 2004 ALCS and World Series, completely unedited.

Judge Dread

2005-07-08T00:02:00.000-04:00

In college, as a joke, a good friend of mine turned in a paper that referenced the "1992 Supreme Court election between Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas". Sadly, it seems that a lot of people out there don't get this joke. A recent Washington Post article estimated that conservative and liberal interest groups expect to raise a total sum approaching $100 million to influence who the next Supreme Court justice will be.

This is a travesty. Judges should be nominated based on experience, intelligence, and character only - not to pander to a particular cause or help a specific case or issue. Now, I'm not naive enough to say that a judge's legal views don't come in to play, and I think it's pretty clear that President Bush will nominate someone who is at least moderately conservative, so can't we just leave it at that? One of the factors in every presidential election is the knowledge that with one exception, every single U.S. president has appointed at least one judge to the Supreme Court (sorry, Jimmy Carter). Bush won, so let him make the choice he wants to make. He's not going to nominate Pol Pot to replace O'Connor, and if he does, there should be enough Republican senators willing to vote against a total wacko that a filibuster wouldn't be needed anyway. And if he nominates a moderate, great, that's his prerogative - the Justice who is retiring was moderate anyway. In Bush's defense, I think he will resist pressure from the extreme right very well (see this week's rebuke of the people disparaging Al Gonzalez), and choose based on his gut instinct. Unfortunately, any choice he makes will immediately be assaulted immediately from both sides, and the end result may very well be that we lose one or more very qualified candidates who just don't want to deal with the rancor that will permeate the entire process.

On a side note, liberals should really remember that they already won the court battle anyway. They won it 70 years ago when Franklin Roosevelt's court-packing scheme worked well enough to fundamentally change the way the judiciary interprets the powers of the federal government. The modern day equivalent of this would be Bush threatening to expand the size of the court to 15 judges, causing Kennedy and Souter to become suddenly extremely conservative, and having every liberal decision of the past 50 years rolled back.

In any case, the nomination should make an otherwise dull off-election summer somewhat more interesting for the political junkies out there (especially if Rehnquist retires too). Stay tuned...

I'm Awesome

2005-07-07T22:51:00.000-04:00

Frequent readers of this blog - such as myself - no doubt noticed the recent validation of two of my previous posts:

First, The Onion ran the following News In Brief item in its June 29th issue:

Block of Commercials Tracks The Who's Career Arc

NEW YORK—According to TV viewer Maurice Degroot, every phase of rock band The Who's career was traced by a single CBS commercial break Tuesday. "The retrospective opened with Hummer's 'Happy Jack,' one of the songs from The Who's '60s mod period,"Degroot said. "Then a Saab commercial played 'I'm Free' from their ambitious rock-opera phase, followed by a promo for CSI featuring 'Who Are You,' one of their last great hits." In light of the popular commercials, the surviving Who members are planning a reunion tour to perform 30-second snippets from all their famous songs.

This, of course, was stolen directly from my February post about the sudden appearance of several Who songs in TV ads. Sorry, Onion, but you're four months late to the game.

Second, my list of unpredictably imminent history keeps rolling along, as Justice O'Connor retired from the Supreme Court on Monday. While I'll admit I thought Chief Justice Rehnquist would be the first to go, I still got the vacancy part right on schedule (and don't count out old Willie leaving before the next term, either). On a side note, one item that I had meant to add to the list (I'm not sure where I would have put it) was the revelation of who Deep Throat really was (Linda Lovelace). And what's up next? Well, according to the list, Gerald Ford should start watching his back (I wonder if Squeaky Fromme is still alive?).

In any case, hopefully this trend will continue, and within a month some drug company will unveil a pill that lets humans stay awake for a month straight with no side effects. If they do, be sure to thank me.

Confederacy of Dunces

2005-06-14T01:43:00.000-04:00

Finally finished reading A Confederacy of Dunces last week. It was good, and I'd recommend it to anyone looking for something to pick up, but I have to say, it didn't really meet my expectations. Virtually every review I ever read of it said it was one of the funniest books ever written, and that I would be laughing out loud the whole way through. Furthermore, I had more than one friend praise it as one of their all-time favorites, which had me convinced that I too would put it in my top five. And on top of this, I just got back from two trips to New Orleans in the last three months, which should have primed me for a book that heavily pokes fun at that city's culture and way of life. But in the end, all I can say is that it was good, not great. I smiled somewhat frequently when reading it, but only laughed out loud once or twice. And I never really got in to it to the point where I could read 75-100 pages at a stretch - a hallmark of a good book. So for now, if you're looking for a novel that's incredibly smart and funny, I'd have to stick with my recommendation of Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut (plus that way you can tell people you're reading Vonnegut, and sound really intelligent/pretentious).

As for me, I'm debating between re-reading Catch-22 (I own it, but haven't read it in a long, long time and really don't remember much of it), Scoop (by Evelyn Waugh - supposed to be his best work, and I really liked Brideshead Revisited and The Loved One), or Rabbit, Run (by John Updike - I've never read anything by him, and if I enjoy it, there's three more sequels). But if you have any suggestions, let me know. I'm going to try reading on the Metro for a little while, before I give up and become just another guy who listens to his iPod during his commute.

Virginia Primaries

2005-06-14T01:21:00.000-04:00

For those of you who didn't know (and I'm assuming that's a lot of you), the reason there has been a sharp increase in the amount of signs with red-and-blue names stuck in your medians lately is that Virginia's party primaries are today, June 14th.

Of the six statewide races (Governor, Lt. Governor, and Attorney General for the Democrats and Republicans), only three could be called competitive (Lt. Gov for the Dems, and Lt. Gov and AG for the GOP). There are also a handful of competitive primaries for the House of Delegates; for a much better analysis of those, go to virginiacentrist.blogspot.com . Nonetheless, I encourage you to vote anyway. Primaries are typically the place where one vote has the most impact, and it's at this stage in the process where turnout really needs to increase if you want to see more moderate candidates around in November (low turnout generally means a higher concentration of hardcore party loyalists voting).

I was tempted to vote in the Democratic primary (Virginians don't have to declare their party until they reach the polls) just to vote against the ridiculously liberal candidates running for Lieutenant Governor, but fortunately there's plenty of room on the Republican side for my standard spite-filled protest vote as well. George Fitch, the mayor of Warrenton (pop. 9,000), is running against former state Attorney General Jerry Kilgore for the gubenatorial nomination, and short of Kilgore murdering a poll worker as he votes tomorrow, has about as much chance of winning as I do. So needless to say, he has my vote. I'm also pulling the lever for Sean Connaughton and Steve Baril in the two undercard races, respectively, although it remains to be seen if either one is moderate enough to get my vote five months from now.

So take five minutes to read some candidate bios (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2005/06/08/LI2005060801574.html) and vote today. Preferably for me.

Marketing

2005-06-14T00:53:00.000-04:00

My supermarket was out of french onion Sun Chips last week, so I bought a bag of Chex Mix to bring in my lunch instead. Only I didn't buy Chex Mix - for $1.50 less, I bought Giant-brand "Squares Mix". Mmmmm!

Marketing like this actually elucidates an interesting fact about the way humans shop. Very few people take the time to read the words on box covers at all. Instead, they take clues from the color and shape of the logos and wrappers to give clues about what's inside. This is why the Giant-brand Sudafed box needs to be bright red and look exactly like a box of Sudafed (down to the ingredients), but only has to say "Decongestant" on the front. This phenomenon is taken even farther in the book Blink (by Malcolm Gladwell), where the author talks about a cheap brand of brandy that consistently outsold its main competitor only because the box it came in made it look better-tasting and more sophisticated.

Still, I would LOVE to meet the marketing manager who has to come up with lame store-brand names that are just different enough from the real brands to avoid a lawsuit. Most products can just be re-labeled with basic descriptions of what they are ("Eye Drops" instead of "Visine" or "Stay-Awake" instead of "No-Doz"), but for things like cereal and soda, this is pretty much impossible. Which leads to some of my all time favorite pseudo-brand-names: "Toasti-O's" instead of "Cheerios", "Dr. Fizz" instead of "Dr. Pepper", "Fast Mac" instead of "Easy Mac", and of course, "Crispy Hexagons" instead of "Crispix". I mean, what's more mouth-watering than a hexagon?

Methamphetimol

2005-06-13T23:38:00.000-04:00

I've decided that the greatest invention of the next 100 years will be a pill that lets humans function normally on four hours of sleep a night (or less). Commerce and entertainment would be revolutionized; people would have more time to spend working, playing, and even commuting.

The good news is that science is already working on this. The Washington Post had an article on how, after decades of technical innovation to shape the world around us, many researchers are now looking inward (literally) to find the next groundbreaking scientific discovery. And there is already a drug available by prescription, modafanil, that lets you stay awake for 40 hours, sleep for eight, and stay up for another 40. Apparently, some pretty nasty side effects kick in if you don't go to sleep after that, but hey, it's a start. Plus, the nice thing about this field of research is that it is extremely lucrative. The first drug company that makes a safe, non-addicting (or mildly addicting) breakthrough will be rolling in orders from stressed-out parents, students, executives, gambling addicts, you name it.

So hopefully there's a room full of guys in white lab coats working on this right now (when they're not quality-testing Hyundais). You'd think they'd have a lot of free time anyway, while they're waiting around to find enough stem cells to start growing me a replacement kidney or liver.

Nothing in this world is free. Well, except this.

2005-05-16T00:04:00.000-04:00

So I finally got my free iPod in the mail on Saturday. All excited, I put in the iTunes CD so I can start transferring music and making playlists, and I get this message: "iTunes requires Windows 2000 or XP. Please make any necessary software upgrades before continuing."

Crap.

First of all, what kind of message is that? Please upgrade your operating system and try again? Oh, ok, no problem, let me just walk over to 7-11 and pick up a $300 copy of Windows XP. But more importantly, I now have to make some tough choices about my computer(s) and my 7GB collection of music. I have several options:

1. Upgrade from Win98 to WinXP. This will cost about $200, and will probably make my computer run slower. I'd also have to check and make sure all the software I have installed will work with XP. Seems like a waste when I was planning to upgrade this computer in another year or two.

2. Use my laptop from work. This is probably what I'll try at first, but I have a feeling I'll get sick of it pretty quickly. I don't normally take my laptop home with me; now I'll have to do it anytime I want to make a new playlist. Either that, or manage my iPod while I'm at work, which I don't think my boss would like very much. Plus, this means I'll have to keep all of my music on my laptop, which I really don't want to do, or keep it on a bunch of CDs, which I'm sure will just become a huge pain. Once I start buying songs through iTunes (yes, I'm going to buy songs now that I have an iPod; that was always my plan), it just won't be feasible to burn them directly to a CD instead of leaving them on my hard drive.

3. Buy a new computer. This is tempting, but iPod aside, I really don't need one. Plus, this opens up a whole new can of worms. Should I just replace my tower, or should I get a new monitor too? (I've wanted a flat screen for a long time). Should I upgrade from Office 2000 to 2003? Will I still be able to use some of the software I got for free at UVA? (Probably not).

And on top of all this, I still have to decide if I'm going to take my iPod when I go running (seems a little bulky) or try and use it in my car (the last FM broadcaster I bought didn't work at all).

Life is tough when you get a free $300 digital music player.

Vegas, baby, Vegas

2005-05-09T00:58:00.000-04:00

So if you didn't know, I recently got back from a four-day business trip to Las Vegas. Don't get too jealous - I spent most of the time in lectures on IT auditing best practices (the project I'm on at work right now is developing software for the Sarbanes-Oxley Act and for auditing and regulatory compliance). Nonetheless, it was a good trip - I gained a lot of industry domain knowledge, had my first experience with a trade show booth, and got to see the new Wynn Resort & Casino the night it opened. Here are some things I learned on the trip:

- It's hard not to see a celebrity in Vegas. Last year, it was Ron Jeremy and Omar Gooding; this year, it was Mike Krzyzewski checking in to the Bellagio (no doubt to set up some sort of points-shaving scam).

- Some people are really bad at poker. I mean REALLY bad. Maybe I've just played a lot in the last year, but I had no trouble winning about $120 in two hours at the MGM Grand (where I was staying). Granted, I was playing at the cheap $2/$4 table, but I didn't really have any lucky draws or an abnormally high number of good starting hands. The guy to my right played 80-90% of his starting hands, while the woman to his right only stayed in the pot if she had the absolute nuts. If people do that, they're just asking you to take their money.

- Vegas isn't a great town to be alone in. I didn't really hang out with the sales guys from my office who came with me on the trip, so most of the stuff I did during the week, I did by myself. Now, if you're an extrovert, have good game with women, or really like strip clubs, this is a great situation to be in. But for me, it was kind of boring. It's not as fun trying different restaurants when you end up eating at the bar; it's not as fun gambling when you have no one to celebrate with (or commiserate with); and it's not as fun going out to bars when you've got no wingman and no one to hang out with. Plus, almost everyone there is there with someone else - newlyweds, retired couples, fat, balding men with prostitutes, etc. Ah well, I won't complain too much.

- My job isn't that bad. Neither is yours. If you disagree, try standing on a street corner in sweltering heat for twelve hours a day, handing out advertisements for escort services, while wearing a day-glo yellow shirt that says GIRLS TO YOU IN THIRTY MINUTES!!! 702-969-6969 !!!

Hmm, maybe next time I'll pick up a few more of those cards...

Greeting Cards

2005-05-09T00:16:00.000-04:00

When I went to buy a Mother's Day card last week, I had a very difficult time doing so. The selection of cards was abundant, but their general quality was terrible. Now, if you're the type of person that just gives a generic, non-humorous card, then this isn't much of a concern (these cards usually have pictures of flowers on them, and are sappy). But if you're like me, and want to find a genuinely funny card, you have a tough task. And this doesn't just go for Mother's Day cards - I'm finding it increasingly true for birthday cards and for, um... ok, so I guess I really only buy two or three types of cards. But I bet if I ever bought someone a graduation card, or Bar Mitzvah card, it would be difficult to find a good one.

I don't think this is entirely the fault of the greeting card industry. Most cards are designed either for younger kids to give to their parents, or for husbands and wives to give to each other. And there is obviously an incentive to be inoffensive, since there are only so many different cards you can print, and you want to sell as many as possible. But still, do they have to write jokes that sound like they came from the Family Circus? It's too bad I'm not still eight years old; I could just make my own card and have it be ten times funnier than anything in the store. Maybe I'll start doing that - get one of the lame flower cards that say "Thinking of You" on them, cross out all the words, and write my own jokes. I guess that would look like crap....Maybe I'll try it for Father's Day.

Keep an eye out - Love Day cards are coming soon.

Hey, that guy looks exactly like me! Ooh, that dog has a puffy tail!

2005-04-20T00:31:00.000-04:00

Two incidents that prove once again how totally out of it I am:

1. I left my brand-new cleats on the Ellipse after a flag football game on Saturday. I would go back and see if anyone picked them up, but I'm sure the Secret Service has long since disposed of them for security reasons.

2. I broke a glass the other day when I accidentally knocked it out of the dishwasher. The first thought that came to my mind was "Crap! Ctrl-Z!".

Kramer1981 is typing...

2005-04-18T01:18:00.000-04:00

In the nascent days of instant messaging, AOL probably received a number of complaints about the frequency of fractured conversations. That is, instances when two people said two very different things in the same IM at the same time. I'm sure this has happened to all of you - there's a lull in the dialogue, and all of the sudden your friend types in "Hey, you're not going to believe this, but I killed a guy last week" right as you say "So, how 'bout those Nationals?". Then you're forced to talk awkwardly about both subjects for a few lines, before the conversation finally settles in one direction.

AIM solved this problem by adding the "ScreenName is typing..." and "ScreenName has entered text." warnings in the middle of open instant messaging conversations. I don't really have a complaint about this; I think it makes IMs more like real conversations. But it has changed the dynamic of talking online. Now, I think, people are less likely to blurt out responses when they see the other person is about to continue talking. Or they'll even stop typing and wait for the other person to make an addendum or clarification to whatever they've said. Again, less confusing and more like real life, but it always makes me wonder, what were you going to say to me?

Speed Limits

2005-04-18T00:39:00.000-04:00

According to my dad's 1971 Triple-A Road Atlas, the speed limit on freeways in Nevada and Montana was "Reasonable and Proper". Really, what has changed since then that makes that such a terrible idea? Nothing. In Northern Virginia, the speed limit on I-66, I-95, I-395, and I-495 should be 90 miles an hour at night and on weekends. In one sense, it pretty much is, since I usually do 65-70 mph when there's no traffic, and consistently get passed on the left. But in the real sense, it's still 55 mph, since you can't go more than four or five miles on any interstate highway without seeing someone pulled over for speeding.

What is the point of having the speed limit that low? I don't get annoyed at all when I get passed by someone doing 105 in the right lane; I would be doing the same thing if I didn't know what an enormous hassle getting a reckless ticket would be.

The main arguments for keeping the speed limit at 55 are that it should be lower in heavily populated areas for safety reasons, and that heavy traffic can force sudden changes in speed, which would be dangerous. The first point is ridiculous; the number of accidents where a car is speeding, flies off the road and lands in a house has been pretty steady at zero for a while now. The second point is related to the first - you can't go 90 miles an hour when there are a lot of other cars on the road. Fine. Make the speed limit variable. They already do this in some parts of the country - why not use it everywhere? The speed limit during rush hour wouldn't matter; no one ever gets above 25 anyway. In between rush hour and say, 9pm, the speed limit could stay at 55, so you don't have an increase in accidents where someone comes flying around a bend and rear-ends a car at a standstill. But from 9pm to 5 or 6am, the speed limit should be 90-100 miles an hour. There are PLENTY of places on the aforementioned highways where people go this fast anyway, why not just let them? People aren't trying to die; they won't drive fast if they feel unsafe. Well, at least, I don't. And finally, as an added benefit, raising the speed limit reduces the amount of time needed to ship goods from one location to another, which ultimately saves companies and consumers millions of dollars.

Unpredictably Imminent History

2005-04-05T00:36:00.000-04:00

An unpredictably imminent historical event is an event that will occur with near certainty in the next decade or so, but cannot be pinned down any certainty beyond that time frame. A good example is a major plane crash in the United States; one happens every two or three years, but their exact dates cannot be predicted in any way. A little over two years ago, I came up with a list of seven events that fit this criteria; they are listed below.

1. Death of Strom Thurmond
2. Capture of Saddam Hussein
3. Death of Ronald Reagan
4. Death of Pope John Paul II
5. Supreme Court Vacancy
6. Death of Gerald Ford
7. Capture of Osama bin Laden

As you can see, four have already happened, and one is probably about to happen (it is very unlikely that Chief Justice Rehnquist will stay on beyond the end of the Supreme Court term in June). Back in 2003, most guesses were for Strom and Dutch, which turned out to be fairly accurate. As for the last two events; I invite another round of guesses. Neither appears to be on the immediate horizon, but I have a feeling that most votes will go for Gerry instead of Osama.

It was only the Pope's death that got me thinking about this subject; I promise the next post will be much less morbid.

CD Hall of Fame

2005-03-25T01:11:00.000-05:00

There are currently two CDs in my Hall of Fame: Untitled (IV / Zoso) by Led Zeppelin, and Graceland, by Paul Simon. These are the only CDs I know where every track flows together perfectly as part of the whole album, and at the same time could stand alone as a great song on its own.

I think, however, I am very close to adding a third CD to this list - Boston's self-titled debut album. Perhaps I'm a little biased because of the name of the band, but I've listened to this CD several times since I um, "archived" it from Paul in January, and I've yet to be disappointed by any track. If you're familiar with the band, Boston's first album contains every radio single they've ever had (with the exception of "Don't Look Back"). So if you recognize "More Than A Feeling", "Foreplay / Long Time", "Rock and Roll Band", or "Smokin' ", this is that CD.

I just finished listening to Zoso recently, and I haven't listened to the Boston CD in a while, so I think I'll pop that into my car's CD player tomorrow morning. If it holds up, I'll probably induct it into my Hall of Fame sometime soon.

Fun With the Internet, Part 2

2005-03-08T00:49:00.000-05:00

The "game" from the previous post popped into my head last week, when I invented a NEW game while searching for plane tickets to New Orleans. Its premise is equally as simple, yet yields far more possibility: go to Orbitz, and find the most expenisve one-passenger, coach, round-trip ticket possible.

I haven't played with this quite as much (funny how quickly your free time disappears after you graduate), but my record so far is:

Boise, Idaho to Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso
Depart: March 8, 2005
Return : March 13, 2005
Cost: $6663 on British Airways

Incidentally, this was about $4400 more than the cheapest ticket for this route, which makes you wonder how often people who don't do any research get completely screwed on airfare. The idea for this game came about after Orbitz offered to save me $3 on my flight from National Airport to New Orleans by routing me through New York, Pittsburgh, and Miami (as opposed to just Atlanta). Thanks Orbitz; I'll use the money I save to buy a knife and stab myself in the kidneys.

Fun With The Internet (or How To Procrastinate)

2005-03-08T00:08:00.000-05:00

When I was in college, I frequently tried (and succeeded at) distracting myself from writing papers by surfing the internet. One time while doing this, I invented a game that is surprisingly addictive, especially if you enjoy reading maps and taking road trips like I do. The premise is simple: Go to MapQuest and get driving directions between two cities that are as far apart as possible. The records are (to my knowledge):

Overall:
1. Ingonish, NS to Barrow, AK: 6204.48 mi
2. Happy Valley, NL to Barrow, AK: 6203.62 mi

United States only:
1. Key West, FL to Barrow, AK: 5935.24 mi
2. Big Pine Key, FL to Barrow, AK: 5904.89 mi

Continental U.S. only:
1. Key West, FL to Neah Bay, WA: 3702.44 mi
2. Key West, FL to Sekiu, WA: 3684.26 mi

As you can see, once you discover a city at the geographical extreme of a certain location, it becomes a starting point for a lot of "trips". I used a 1998 Rand McNally Road Atlas to come up with the names of most of these cities; the only frustrating part being that MapQuest sometimes won't recognize (or be able to find roads to) small cities in far-away places. (On a side note, that road atlas has traveled about 7,000 miles with me over the course of four or five road trips, and has been an invaluable resource.) MapQuest also does some driving directions in Europe; the farthest distance I've found there is Seville, Spain to Arhus, Denmark, which is 1886.67 miles. This length is probably beatable since I haven't tried places outside of North America very much. It should also give you some idea about how much smaller western Europe is than the United States.

If anyone can beat these totals, please let me know; I will be happy to post your name here and give you a few tips on how to write a good essay when you're starting it at five in the morning.

2006 Ford Mustang GT Convertible

2005-03-04T02:45:00.000-05:00

Well, I did it. I opened a savings account today to put money away for a down payment on my dream car. Estimated date of purchase: the week of April 7, 2006. Essentially, I'll be doubling my car payments for the next 14 months, but when I'm done, I'll have the car a year earlier than I originally planned, and just in time to drop the top for spring 2006. It's a 4.6L 300hp V8 with a 5-speed manual transmission, and I'll probably get it in dark lime green (the classic color) or light metallic blue. I suppose I could be saving for retirement, or could at least wait a little longer, but screw it, it's my dream car. I think about it every day, and every time I think about it, it makes me happy. How often can you say that about something? Plus, I'll probably have it for twenty years after I buy it.

No, you can't borrow it. But if you ask nicely, I'll take you for a ride.

Red Sox at the White House

2005-03-04T02:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I had the privilege of seeing the Red Sox recognized by President Bush as World Champions in a ceremony on the South Lawn of the White House. It was absolutely fantastic - a total merger of my love for politics and baseball. Among the surreal sights I witnessed:

Transportation Secretary Mineta, HUD Secretary Jackson, and actress Angie Harmon standing around and chatting with each other about for about twenty minutes. What the hell were they talking about? How do they know each other?
Hearing someone in the crowd yell out "HEY, DID THE YANKEES GET TO MEET WITH JOHN KERRY?", and then seeing Kerry walk in about twenty minutes later, immediately followed by President Bush make a pseudo-compliment to Kerry about being nervous when they were "fixin' to debate". Can you imagine being the butt of "loser" jokes for the next four years? On some level, that guy must really hate his life.
Seeing the Red Sox, one of the the dirtiest-looking teams in sports, all dressed in suits and ties. Manny wasn't there (of course), but David Ortiz wore sunglasses and looked badass.
Watching Bud Selig hang around for a half-hour after the ceremony to sign autographs (including one for me). I assumed this guy ate babies for lunch, but he was actually really nice. And I guess he did bring baseball back to DC, albeit not without extorting a stadium from the city.

That's all I've got. If you'd like to see some slightly-obscured pictures of the Red Sox, or some tilted pictures of the White House, just let me know.

Riley Swinehart, you are my hero.

Small Talk

2005-03-04T01:57:00.000-05:00

That last post got me to thinking about how much I hate small talk with strangers (again, different than small talk with acquaintances). If I don't know you, why do you think that sharing an elevator would suddenly make me want to talk to you? Especially about something as inane as the weather, or the fact that it's Friday. The only other people that try to talk to me unsolicited are long-distance salesmen and panhandlers. What kind of company does that put you in? To paraphrase President Truman, if you want a friend, get a dog.

I think a large part of my distaste for small talk is that if I didn't have to do it, I could be thinking to myself, which inherently is going to be more interesting to me. Even if I would have enjoyed a conversation with you, we're not going to figure that out in thirty seconds, so why bother? Obviously this doesn't apply if, say, you're wearing a Red Sox shirt, or if you're attractive and just smiled at me. Then we have something worth talking about. But in most cases, you're not. You're just some middle aged guy who is getting off two floors below me and making my commute longer than it has to be.

Developing a callous attitude towards the general public has its pluses and minuses. On the good side, it makes it really easy to hang up quickly on salespeople and just say "sorry" to homeless people who ask for change. But sometimes it makes me feel bad, when I can tell someone is really disappointed that I don't feel like talking. The worst example of this was in a Metro station a few years ago, when a blind woman asked me "nice weather we're having, huh?". I walked a few steps away without responding, and I'm sure she knew what I did and probably assumed it was because I didn't want to talk with a blind person. I would have explained to her that, in fact, I just didn't want to talk to anyone, but that would have required making conversation. And you know how I feel about that.

Friends

2005-03-04T01:37:00.000-05:00

It occured to me the other day that an excellent litmus test for friendship is the "15 minutes of silence rule". If you can sit with someone for 15 minutes and feel absolutely no necessity to talk to him or her, then you must have an established relationship. I'm not talking, of course, about sitting next to a stranger on the Metro or on a plane, but about being in a car or eating or watching TV with someone you've met before. It is, I suppose, the certainty of knowing you 1) don't have to make a good impression, 2) already know the information usually gleaned from small talk, and 3) will probably see this person again in the future. If you really think about it, this list is probably smaller than you realize. It's easy to make acquaintances, but hard to get this comfortable with a lot of people.

Closet Vegetarian

2005-02-22T02:00:00.000-05:00

Is it weird to eat Gardenburgers if you're not a vegetarian? I like the way they taste, and they're really easy to microwave. I certainly wouldn't want to cook a real burger like that, so why not get something that's probably better for me and CAN be nuked in two minutes? Maybe I'm slowly becoming the world's first laziness vegetarian - I'll only eat pasta and fruit because they're the only foods I can make myself in under 15 minutes.

I also think this is why I don't like meat on my pizza. It's not that I don't like the combination of meat, cheese, tomato sauce, and bread; it's just that I don't like any of the meats that usually go on pizza. I hate pepperoni, I never eat sausage, and I don't eat ham either. I guess that still leaves hamburger, but for me, putting that on pizza is like putting ice cream on turkey. They're just different types of meals.

Actually, I'm going to retract the first part of this post - I could never become a vegetarian. Just writing this made me really, really want to go out and grill a steak.

Censorship

2005-02-22T00:53:00.000-05:00

Harvard Chief Again to Face Angry Faculty Over Remarks

Look, I have no idea if Larry Summers's opinions are accurate. And I am a little surprised that he is ruminating on this topic, since his background is economics, not education or sociology. But what he said was nothing more than a remark in a speech. Normal people regularly misspeak, say dumb things, say things they don't mean, or say things they'll regret later. And usually this is ok. Here, Summers has been forced to apologize a lot. Fine, he probably should be. The incident has also sparked a campus-wide discussion. Great, things like this should be discussed and debated thoroughly. But here's what gets me: Summers has already created "two task forces to study the issue". Why? Why waste people's time? Anything that needed to change would have changed without a huge report from a joint panel that tries to make itself feel important. This is a problem endemic to many universities and governments - any time something bad happens, make a new department, or new law, and maybe that will fix it! Then, ten years later, when people finally realize what happened was just a meaningless aberration, you're just stuck with a bunch of dead salaries and burdensome regulations. Cooler heads, people, cooler heads. If you advocate it for the Department of Defense, you should advocate it everywhere else.

The Who

2005-02-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

So apparently before John Entwistle died, he didn't tell the remaining members of the Who what the combination was to the safe where they keep all their money. The sad result of this is that their music is showing up during commercial breaks more frequently than Jared from Subway. If you listen, you'll hear "Happy Jack" in the Hummer commercial with the soapbox derby; "I Can See For Miles" in some commercial for a new type of headlights; and now "Pinball Wizard" as the new theme in Saab commercials. All of this, of course, is on top of "Who Are You" as the theme to CSI (which, I'll admit, is a good choice).

I give it two months before "Magic Bus" comes up in the background of a Greyhound ad.

Company Cruise

2005-02-08T02:07:00.000-05:00

If you didn't know, I just got back from a week long cruise in the Caribbean that functions as my company's annual corporate retreat. I guess the best way to summarize the experience was to say that I never got more than four hours of sleep in a night - four times because I was out partying, and three times because I was up late working (yes, we had to do work). Most of the stories from the trip wouldn't be nearly as funny or as interesting to you if you didn't work for Appian, so I'll leave them out. But I will say that I'm really glad to work for a company where the average age of an employee is like 27, and where you can run into your boss at a club at 4 in the morning.

I'd also like to say that if I had a choice, I'd probably never take a cruise by myself. All of the events (dinners, clubs, etc.) were enjoyable only because I knew 90% of the people there. Otherwise, it's really just a bunch of schlock for dumb tourists, and in that vein, it's kind of depressing. The economy at every port we docked at revolved entirely around selling things to people getting off of cruise ships, and most of the off-ship excursions were so gimmicky I just laughed when I read their descriptions.

That said, I can't wait until next year.

Oscars

2005-02-08T01:44:00.000-05:00

The Academy Awards are coming up soon (I think). Here are my picks (nominees can be found here: http://www.oscar.com/nominees/nominees.html).

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, for the Aviator. The only other nominee I saw was Virginia Madsen in Sideways, who was good, but not as good as Blanchett was in playing Audrey Hepburn. Side note to Natalie Portman: Yes, you were good in The Professional, but you should be starting with an award deficit of about -5 after these Star Wars movies).

Best Supporting Actor: Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby. He was phenomenal in his role as a former boxer, and more importantly, he's long overdue. I rooted for Tim Robbins to win last year solely because he should have gotten one for the Shawshank Redemption; this year I'll do the same for Morgan Freeman. Alan Alda and Thomas Hayden Church were both really good too, and I wouldn't mind seeing them win, but these are their first nominations, so that's not going to happen. Hollywood loves giving Oscars to people that should have won a long time ago, even if the performances aren't the best of their careers. See Paul Newman in The Color of Money, Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman, Russell Crowe in Gladiator, and Denzel Washington in Training Day.

Best Actress - I've only seen Eternal Sunshine... and Million Dollar Baby, and between those, I'd give it to Hillary Swank. She made her character believable (even with the accent), and doing that with that role couldn't have been easy.

Best Actor - I actually like all of the actors in this category, so I wouldn't mind seeing any of them win. Of the movies I've seen, I'd say it's a toss-up between Leonardo DiCaprio and Clint Eastwood, with points taken away from DiCaprio because of Titanic and given to Eastwood because he's a badass. Really though, that debate is moot, since it's pretty clear that Jamie Foxx will win for Ray. Hopefully I'll get to see this before the awards are given out.

Best Director - Scorsese's due. Seriously. Taxi Driver? GoodFellas? Come on.

Best Picture - For me, it's between Million Dollar Baby and The Aviator, and while they were both really good, Million Dollar Baby was just a little too depressing.

Side note: Best adapted screenplay - Sideways or Million Dollar Baby? Total toss up, I think. It'll be interesting to see if Sideways gets taken seriously enough.

All other categories: Who cares? Go read a book.

Patriots

2005-02-08T01:39:00.000-05:00

I talked enough about the Red Sox in October that I'm not going to beat this one into the ground. All I'll say is that most people will go their entire lives and never have a chance to follow two teams as entertaining and as successful as the Patriots and Red Sox have been over the past year. So really, I'm just grateful be able to say I've experienced a dynasty.

WHFS

2005-02-08T01:26:00.000-05:00

So 99.1 WHFS is now a Spanish-language station called El Zol. This is very depressing, for a few reasons. One, HFS was a big part of the soundtrack to the last ten years of my life, and probably yours too. Two, no more HFStivals (or if they do keep doing them, they'll probably suck). I only went to one (the first day of the spring 2001 show) but it was probably the best concert I've ever been to. And three, the Washington DC metro area now officially has the worst lineup of radio stations in the country. There are now exactly TWO stations that I listen to with any regularity (Classic Rock 94.7 and DC101), and even these aren't spectacular. So if anyone has any suggestions (other than listen to your CDs when you drive), let me know.

On a side note, let's take a second to analyze Charlottesville vs. Arlington. Better bar scene? I'll go Charlottesville. Better golf? Definitely Charlottesville. Better looking residents? Well you can't beat a college town, even if there are a few townies mixed in. And now, better radio? I'd probably pay $5 a month to get WNRN and 3WV up here.

2005 Ford Mustang GT

2005-01-03T03:47:00.000-05:00

I am strongly, strongly thinking about buying this car after I save up a little cash and finish paying off my Corolla in 2007. It is the first car priced under $30,000 that I have seen in a long time that just looks beautiful. Seriously, that's the best word to describe it - beautiful. And the GT model is, as always, going to be quite powerful. If I did try to buy it, I would probably go for the convertible model that comes out, and would probably get it a year or two used, to save some money. The downside, of course, is that having a convertible reduces performance, Fords are still unreliable, and the Mustang is notorious for not handling well in poor weather. But hey, you're only young once.

Future Political Races

2005-01-03T03:01:00.000-05:00

Some thoughts on upcoming political races:

2005 Governor's race - Washington State (not likely): If you haven't heard, Democratic State Attorney General Christine Gregoire was certified the winner of the 2004 election by 130 votes, out of 2.9 million cast, after a second hand recount of all ballots. This recount came after a machine recount and first hand recount had shown Republican State Sen. Dino Rossi winning by 42 votes. Rossi is now calling for a new election, and while I personally think there's really not a lot of merit in doing that, it has happened before. In the 1974 Senate race in New Hampshire, Louis Wyman appeared to be the winner by 542 votes. But after a recount, John Durkin was certified the winner by 10 votes. Still later, the decision was reversed and Wyman was declared the winner by two votes. After a year of court battles and controversy in the Senate itself, the only recourse was deemed to be a special election (which Durkin won).

2005 Governor's race - Virginia: My initial feelings on this race are about equivalent to what I felt about the recent Presidential election; namely, I hate both candidates. Jerry Kilgore is an unabashed conservative who apparently isn't a great campaigner, while Tim Kaine, despite doing his best to appear moderate in recent times, was extremely liberal as mayor of Richmond. From what I've seen so far, I think I probably like Kaine a little better than Kilgore, but I'll probably end up writing in Tom Davis or Mark Warner or something like that. On a side note, it appears that the death penalty is becoming something of an issue in this race, which should be very interesting to watch.

2006 Governor's race - New York State: State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer announced recently that he will run for governor in 2006. This is the least surprising announcement in the history of politics; that guy has spent the last four years getting in front of cameras like Greenpeace protesters get in front of logging trucks.

2008 Presidential race: I read an article about this race in the Washingtonian that said the FRONTRUNNER for the Republican nomination is Arnold Schwarzenegger, and that the constitutional amendment he needs to run will likely pass because his wife is related to Ted Kennedy, and because the Democrats would like to nominate Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm anyway (she was born in Canada). Let me state right now that this has a 0% chance of happening. If we found out tomorrow that Prohibition hadn't actually been repealed, it would still take almost four years to pass an amendment overturning that. Plus, natural born citizens like feeling superior to immigrants - I really don't think there would be enough support to pass this amendment. Look for George Pataki, Bill Frist, Jeb Bush and Chuck Hagel to become frontrunners for the Republican nomination (McCain is too old), and for Howard Dean, Joe Biden, John Edwards and Hillary Clinton to possibly move out front for the Democrats. Also in the mix are two Virginians, Republican Sen. George Allen and Democratic Gov. Mark Warner, who has been touted as a savior for the Dems, but will probably end up with a Vice-Presidential slot at best, and a run for the Senate in 2006 or 2008 at worst.

2005

2005-01-03T02:46:00.000-05:00

Quick post here to say Happy New Year to everyone. It feels very strange to me that this decade is already half over with, but then again, no one ever looks back on the last five years of his life and says that it went too slow. Unless, I guess, if he was in prison or something.

You know what the coolest thing about 2005 is? Under the Chinese lunar calendar, we will be in the year of the Cock. Actually, I don't know why I picked such a suggestive name; I could have just as easily said Rooster (obscure TV reference alert). Anyway, we really WILL be in the year of the Rooster, which supposedly means good things for me, because the year I was born was also the year of the Rooster.

Worst Movies, Part II

2005-01-03T02:02:00.000-05:00

Continuing on the theme of bad movies, I thought I'd mention two poor film adaptations of books I thought were excellent.

Over Christmas, I saw Runaway Jury with my family. The John Grisham book it was based on was an interesting story of a lawyer who stole money from his former firm, then tried to turn the money into an even bigger fortune by shorting tobacco stock before the jury he was on found a cigarette manufacturer liable for the death of a former smoker. The movie version was a horrible story that cut a lot of good subplots from the book, and replaced the tobacco industry with the gun industry, which ended up making it seem like it was written by Ralph Nader and the president from The American President.

I also saw today, for the first time, the trailer for the movie Sahara (www.saharamovie.com). This film is the first film in 20 years to be based on a novel by Clive Cussler, who is probably my favorite action-adventure writer of all time (although his last few books haven't been very good). Again, the book is fantastic, but the trailer makes it look like they almost tried to turn it into a comedy. And to top it all off, the casting is horrible. If you've ever read any Cussler books, you'll know what I mean, and if not, all I'll say is that Steve Zahn is playing an Italian guy.

To end on a brighter note, I'll recommend that everyone go see the Aviator. At first, it seems a little slow and disjointed, but if you read a biography of Howard Hughes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howard_Hughes, for example), you'll see that the movie actually does a very good job. And as a bonus for political junkies like me, the script of the Senate hearing scenes involving Hughes and Sen. Owen Brewster are supposedly over 75% based on actual lines from the congressional record. So I'd definitely suggest that everyone go see this movie (even if you do hate Leonardo di Caprio), and I wouldn't be surprised if it wins Best Picture (and a long-overdue Best Director award for Martin Scorsese).

Worst Movies

2005-01-03T01:23:00.000-05:00

I've had conversations with several people over the last month in which I tried to determine the worst movie I've ever seen. This proved to be somewhat difficult, because I generally avoid watching films that look like they will be mediocre or worse, even if most of my friends want to see them. And while this makes renting movies with other people somewhat difficult, I think my tastes are vindicated by IMDB's list of the 100 Worst Movies of all time, as voted on by its registered users (http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom). Of these 100 movies, I have seen only one (The Avengers), and it just barely makes the list at #99. Furthermore, I only watched this because my parents rented it, and they only rented it because they liked the TV show it was based on. If anyone out there can beat that record, please, let me know.

Interestingly, when I was trying to think of the worst movie I had ever seen, I completely forgot about The Avengers, and ended up settling on either Demolition Man or Screwed. Now, however, after seeing this list, I realize that The Avengers is probably the worst movie I've ever watched. It was really, really terrible.

Lastly, to further vindicate my movie preferences, I'll also point out that my favorite movie of all time (The Shawshank Redemption) is listed as the #3 BEST movie of all time by IMDB.

Now What?

2004-11-04T01:47:00.000-05:00

For anyone who thinks Sox fans are secretly disappointed that they don't have the curse to whine about anymore, the best I can do is direct you to Bill Simmons's columns on espn.com's Page 2 (www.espn.com/page2). Being "cursed" isn't a little club with a secret handshake that everyone enjoys getting attention for. It's a fear hanging over every part of your sports-related life that you will die without seeing the team you care most about win it all. It's being forced to endure the arrogance and indignity of Yankees fans, the sense of panic anytime your team was in a close game in an important series. I once told my friend Sean, a Yankees fan, that the chant I hated most was hearing "1918!" in the Bronx (actually, I've heard it at Camden Yards), because there just was no retort. Period. And now there is, and it feels fantastic.

As for what's next, well, a few things. One, I cash in on a lot of beer bets, and collect the $35 I won in Vegas for betting on the Sox to win it all, back in January. I also consider restarting my subscription to Sports Illustrated just to get whatever championship bonus gifts they're offering. Two, the team will go through a lot of changes. Lowe is gone, almost for sure. Martinez is probably going to get overpaid by the Angels; I don't think the above-market-value money he would get from the Sox for sentimental value, or from the Yankees for shock value, will compare with the desperation money from Anaheim. Mueller, I think, is gone, although I suppose they could platoon him with Youkilis for a little bit. Varitek will stay, and get paid very well to be a team leader, which means the Sox will have to find something do to with the best prospect in their farm system, catcher Kelly Shoppach. Schilling gets an extra $2 million next year for an illegal escalator clause in his contract that pays him a lot more if the Sox win the Series, in addition to being deified in Boston and probably listed as one of the five greatest postseason pitchers in the history of baseball.

In any case, it will be an interesting offseason, and a much more enjoyable one than last year's.

Red Sox

2004-11-04T01:25:00.000-05:00

So what changed? What changed between the top and bottom halves of the 9th inning in game 4 of the ALCS? I had given up on the season, and so had every other true fan - we had 86 years of "cursed" (e.g. really bad, completely coincidental luck) history staring us in the face, not to mention 100 years of nonpartisan baseball history telling us that it was impossible to come back from a 3-0 series deficit. And then all of the sudden, Millar walks, Roberts steals second, Varitek singles, Ortiz homers, and eight games later, the Sox are World Champs. Why then? Why 2004? Why down three games to none? I feel like the priest in the Bridge of San Luis Rey, trying to determine the meaning and divine guidance that must explain an unexpected, random event. At best, I can only believe that this team really was too good NOT to win, and being the Red Sox, it just became naturally more difficult than it should have been. I told my mom after game 3 that this year was perhaps more of a tragedy than many of their historic collapses, because this was the year everything finally came together; this was the year they were the best team going into the playoffs.

Really, however, I attribute the victory to me taking a tour of Yankee Stadium in May and spitting on the field.

Election

2004-11-04T01:12:00.000-05:00

After I cast my ballot yesterday, I thought for a moment that I had been somewhat immature in making several protest votes that would have little impact on anything. But then I realized that it wasn't that I was being childish when it came to the election - it was an accurate reflection of the large disparity between my views and those of the people currently representing me (or attempting to represent me) in government.

I voted for the following, in Arlington County, VA: John McCain for President (write-in), David Ortiz for Congress (write-in, narrowly defeating Tom Brady thanks to the World Series), a Republican for county board, a Libertarian for school board, and a yes on every bond / constitutional amendment, except the $18 million for Metro improvements.

Frankly, there was no candidate I got even remotely excited about, and I refuse to vote for anyone who doesn't share at least a decent majority of my views. And the way this country is headed, I don't know that there will be someone like that anytime soon. Republicans won big on Tuesday by catering to a section of their party that I don't identify with, and I don't think the Democratic Party will make its economic platforms more conservative over the next four years. But then again, they obviously need a better message than "we're not Bush", so who knows.

My Profile

2004-11-04T01:08:00.000-05:00

My IM profile is turning into a powerful means of affecting the future. Three years ago, I put note on the bottom line commemorating the Patriot's victory in Super Bowl XXXVI, and said that I wouldn't remove it until a Boston team won another championship. At the time, I thouroughly expected it to stay there for a while. But the Pats pulled off another victory in Super Bowl XXXVIII, forcing me to replace the note with one urging the Red Sox on. And of course, that one stayed up for a much shorter time than expected - less than a full season, in fact, if you count spring training. So what now? I've put a line in rooting for world peace, which may be a little ambitious, but hey, why not. And if you've got a better idea, I'm open to suggestions.

Back and Better Than Ever

2004-11-04T00:18:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while; I've been in a euphoria-induced semi-coma after the last month of baseball playoffs. Many thanks to everyone who sent along congratulatory emails or IMs, and many, many thanks for everyone who bet me that the Red Sox would lose.

More posts coming soon about baseball and the election - I just wanted to start with something small right now.

D.C. and the Internet

2004-09-21T01:30:00.000-04:00

Here's something interesting to think about next time you see one of those VIRGINIA: Internet C@pital license plates:

(For a more thorough, less technical, and generally better explanation of the following paragraph, go here).

Every time you type a URL into your web browser, your computer performs a DNS lookup to convert that name into an IP address (so you don't have to remember 64.233.161.104 every time you want to go to www.google.com). There are currently 13 authoritative DNS root name servers operating around the globe, which are basically the last resort lookup for every site in existence, organized by domain (.com, .edu, .mil, etc.). The locations for the servers were determined by several factors, including the physical location of the organizations operating each one, and their proximity to populations that use the addresses they list (for example, the root name server in London almost certainly holds the authoritative list of .co.uk sites).

Of those servers, four are located in Fairfax County, two in suburban Maryland, four in California, two in Europe, and one in Tokyo. And while both of the European servers are mirrored in many more places around the world (to the point that I believe there are actually now more root name servers outside of the US than in it), it's interesting to realize that because of a confluence of government, military, and private technology interests, almost half of the internet's "address book" is recorded nearby.

Candidate Match

2004-09-21T01:00:00.000-04:00

While I was checking one of my email accounts today, I took a "Presidential Candidate Match" quiz that AOL was offering on its main page. The results? My views match a solid 42% of George W. Bush's, and a whopping 35% of John Kerry's. It's going to be a fantastic four years...

On that same note, David Broder had a good article in Sunday's Post about how little attention is being paid to the really important issues in this year's election (read it here). If I had to list contributing factors to the recent souring of the political climate in Washington and to the decline in the number of nominated candidates that are truly fit for office, the 24-hour news cycle would be pretty close to the top.

The Big Lebowski

2004-09-20T23:42:00.000-04:00

Maybe I don't watch enough porn, but I was unaware until today of a fantastic cameo in the Big Lebowski. Apparently Sherri (of "That's my friend Sherri - she just came over to use the shower" fame) was played by adult mega-star Asia Carrera, who has previously appeared in such classics as "Nude World Order" and "I Cream on Jeannie". Once again, I have to hand it to the Coen brothers for a job well done.

Karl Hungus, unfortunately, appears to be uncredited.

Birthday

2004-09-20T23:32:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is my 23rd birthday, and it seems like I'm getting pretty good at going a whole year without dying. I'm sure this is becoming obvious to most of you, but pretty much every birthday after you turn 21 is a little bit of a letdown. What is there to look forward to? The ability to rent a car without paying a premium? The ability to run for President? Eligibility for Social Security payments? Right.

Feel free to get me a present though.

Sabbatical

2004-07-19T02:02:00.000-04:00

In case there's someone out there wondering why I haven't posted recently, it's because I've been chosen to replace Jack Ryan as the U.S. Senate candidate from Illinois and I need to get my campaign up and running. That, combined with my new 70 hour work week, has left me mostly unavailable to work on my blog. There are several things I'd like to talk about, among them buying a car, the midpoint of the baseball season, and Paul's response to my earlier comments about Sen. Edwards. But those will have to wait until after August 13th, when my job training finishes. If you're having trouble hanging in there until then, there's probably something wrong with you.

Election

2004-07-07T02:20:00.000-04:00

As of now, I'd give the election to Kerry, but it still obviously depends on a lot of things. If the situation in Iraq improves at all (which it could), and there are no other significant developments in the war on terror, Bush will be able to coast to victory. Or, if the economy starts improving more quickly than it is now, that might be enough to push him over the edge. But if things stay as they are, I think Kerry will prevail. Look at the voting public - the only group that is energized at all are the people who are PASSIONATELY anti-Bush. If the Republicans don't do something to counter that, they will lose.

In any case, I would LOVE to see another scenario where the winning candidate (I don't care which party) loses the popular vote. Maybe that would finally convince the parties that they need to nominate more moderate candidates (which should happen anyway in 2008, based on the early rumors about people who might run).

Edwards

2004-07-07T01:56:00.000-04:00

Well, in case you missed it, John Edwards is John Kerry's running mate in the 2004 presidential election. Here's my analysis:

One thing this ensures is that if Kerry and Edwards are elected, you can kiss any efforts at tax reform or tort reform out the window. Edwards, who chased ambulances for the law firm of Fazio and Green (note: no one will get that reference) before he became a Senator, is deeper into the pocket of the trial lawyers lobby than any other politician in the country, which is saying a lot. Many lawyers, obviously, make a living deciphiring complex statutes in the tax code and other laws, and will pay a lot of money to make sure the general public cannot understand these things on their own. They would also sell their kidneys to avoid limiting insanely high jury awards in malpractice cases.

Edwards does bring a lot more charisma to the ticket, but that's about his only virtue. His low approval ratings in North Carolina only underscore the fact that he will not help win any states in the south that Kerry wouldn't have won anyway, and my guess is that despite his "humble beginnings", his southern drawl and suave trial lawyer personality won't play well in the blue-collar midwest.

Whom should the Democrats have picked? Well, I don't know that there is any candidate out there that offsets all of John Kerry's deficiencies (charisma, liberalism, executive experience). John Edwards really only compensates for the first one. Certainly Bill Richardson would have been interesting (if he had wanted the job), although the fact that he is Hispanic is still unfortunately a gamble in some parts of this country. The profile on Tom Vilsack in the Washington Post a few days ago made me think he would have been a good choice (even though he is very much unknown to most of the country). Bob Graham and Dick Gephardt are both too old and too untelegenic, so I guess it could have been worse for the Dems.

AFI's Top 100 Songs

2004-06-26T02:12:00.000-04:00

The American Film Institute, continuing its efforts to become the worldwide leader in Top 100 lists, recently unveiled its "100 Years, 100 Songs" compilation of the greatest songs from movies. The list sucks.

I can understand "Over the Rainbow" as being #1, I guess, but "Mrs. Robinson" really shouldn't have been any lower than #2. It was a defining song in a defining movie, and much better than the other four songs ahead of it (it came in at #6). The worst pick in the top five is "Singin' in the Rain". Obviously it's a very famous song, but it came from a MUSICAL. The entire movie is PEOPLE SINGING. Why were those even considered for this list?

AFI should have either decided to pick great songs that were in movies, or songs that made a movie great. Instead, they waffled between the two, and as a result, the list makes no sense. The most egregious example of this is the two Bond songs that made the list - "Goldfinger" and "Nobody Does it Better". Where the hell is "Live and Let Die"? TBS already picked that as the best Bond song ever; how did it get beaten out? "Goldfinger" is a great song, but the Beatles didn't exactly do a lot of movie soundtracks back in the day.

Update

2004-06-26T02:06:00.000-04:00

After making it clear that he would NOT drop out of the Senate race in Illinois because of the media frenzy over his tabloid-style sexcapades, Jack Ryan has dropped out of the Senate race in Illinois. No word yet on who will replace him, but unless the Republicans resurrect Abe Lincoln himself, this seat goes to Democrat Barack Obama.

Furniture

2004-06-25T05:58:00.000-04:00

Well I missed it, and I'm guessing you did too. But apparently a few years ago, every furniture manufacturer in the country had a big conference and decided that they would offer only two products. The first one costs $250 per piece, is made out of cardboard, and looks like it was designed by a blind monkey having seizures. The second one is somewhat attractive, fairly bulky, and costs $10 million dollars per piece.

I've seriously been to ten different furniture stores, and haven't found anything for my apartment. New furniture is ridiculously expensive, and used furniture is invariably banged up, crappy looking, and STILL expensive. And anything nice (read: not made out of particle board) is extremely heavy and old-fashioned. Can't SOMEONE make a medium-colored, rectangular desk with drawers on one side, do it with NORMAL wood, and sell it for under $200? Then do the same thing with a dresser?

This is worse than the apartment search. Maybe I should start a furniture company.

Moderates

2004-06-25T05:53:00.000-04:00

As an antidote to the last post, I think I've found I group I'd like to get involved with, or at least talk about more on here. It's the Republican Main Street Partnership, which is (not surprisingly) dedicated to helping elect moderate Republicans to state and federal offices. They currently claim over 70 congressmen as members, including John McCain and my own rep (at least until I move) Tom Davis. I have to read through the site a little more to give a better opinion, but I thought I'd post it now in case anyone was feeling a little depressed after reading my rant on sleazy politics.

Politics in the Gutter

2004-06-25T04:57:00.000-04:00

If you haven't been following the news, Tuesday was a pretty interesting day in politics. First, a judge in California ruled in favor of media outlets seeking to have divorce papers filed by actress Jeri Ryan (of Star Trek and Boston Public) released for public view. The papers detailed trips to "bizarre" sex clubs with her former husband, Jack Ryan, a Wall Street millionaire and current Republican Senate candidate from Illinois. While the papers are, in one light, hilarious, they are also another example of the bitter, sleazy state of politics in this country. Remember when Dwight Eisenhower and Jack Kennedy could go bang like crazy and the media would look the other way? Neither do I, but that's what everyone says they did. Now everything hits the 24-hour news cycle within five minutes, and stays there for a week. No wonder voter participation keeps dropping.

Incidentally, the scandal will likely have little impact on the Senate race itself, because Ryan was ALREADY far behind in the polls after it was revealed that he had hired a campaign worker to follow his opponent around with a video camera, 24 hours a day. That's REAL classy.

Another interesting side note in that campaign is Ryan's opponent, Illinois State Senator Barack Obama. His (presumed) election as a liberal Democrat replacing moderate Republican incumbent Peter Fitzgerald, will cap the strong resurgence of the Democratic Party in the Land of Lincoln, which will now have a Democratic governor and two Democratic U.S. Senators. This resurgence is due in part to the state Republican party being in complete disarray after former (unrelated) governor George Ryan's administration was embroiled in a huge bribery scandal, and he retired with abysmal approval ratings. You may remember him as the guy who gave blanket clemency to everyone on death row in the state two days before his term ended (a move I applaud in theory but reject in practice, given that it was a huge abuse of executive power and a desperate attempt to repair his legacy.)

Obama, by the way, will become the first male, African-American Democrat ever elected to the U.S. Senate by popular vote. The first two African-American Senators were chosen by the Mississippi state legislature; the first black male Senator elected by popular vote was a Republican (Edward Brooke of Massachusetts), and the first black Democrat elected was a woman (Carol Moseley-Braun of Illinois).

And in case you were still unsure of whom to vote for, according to his website, Obama is endorsed by Michael Jordan.

Anyway back to Tuesday. The other HILARIOUS event that day occurred during a photo shoot in the Senate, where Vice-President Cheney and communist Senator Pat Leahy of Vermont got into a fight over Halliburton's no-bid contracts in Iraq. The argument, which was brief, ended with Cheney telling Leahy to "go fuck [him]self". See the Post article for the details. Now THIS is the type of partisan bickering that I support wholeheartedly. Yes, it would be nice if we could go back to the days where congressmen would argue during the day and dine together at night, but since we're already well on the way to turning our two parties into polar opposites of each other, we might as well make the fights interesting. Imagine if floor debates in the Senate involved more than three senators at a time, and every speech was filled with cheap personal attacks, cursewords, and vitriolic epithets? C-SPAN's ratings would go through the roof! Maybe eventually we can become like Japan, where Parliament breaks out into a physical fight every once in a while. Hell, we could even send Jerry Springer to the Democratic nominating convention! Oh wait....

Spell Check

2004-06-25T04:55:00.000-04:00

Blogger's spell-checking application apparently doesn't have the word "blog" in its dictionary. Interesting.

Apartments

2004-06-25T03:13:00.000-04:00

The first reason I haven't posted on this blog in a while is that I'm very, very lazy. The second reason is that I've been spending a ridiculous amount of time looking for a place to live in Arlington. Here's a summary of this process:

1. Get a job. I guess I'm fortunate in this respect, although my opinion may change after I fill out my first few TPS reports.

2. Find a roommate. Again, I was very lucky here; rent is insane if you aren't splitting it between two people, and I can't imagine looking for an apartment and a stranger you were comfortable living with at the same time. If you don't believe me, just check out craiglist.com sometime.

3. Pick a location. This was both good and bad; because Alex is working in the District and I'm working in Tyson's, we had a very limited geographical area to look in. Fortunately, it's pretty much where I would have wanted to live anyway, given the fact that Arlington is a young (lots of twentysomethings) area with a lot to do, and DC is a craphole with an income tax double that of Virginia's.

4. Find an apartment within walking distance of bars, restaurants and the Metro that doesn't require you to sell your kidneys to pay the rent. HAHAHAHAHA just kidding; this is infeasible even if you could sell your kidneys. Developers know that the area is wealthy enough to support a market for extravagant high rises, so this is what occupies most of the prime real estate near the urban centers in Clarendon, Ballston, and Court House. Alex and I walked into one of these buildings, across the street from the Ballston Metro stop. His cheapest apartment was about $700/mo more than we were willing to pay, and when we told him this, he came back with an offer of a one bedroom apartment (with a den that we could "convert" to a bedroom) that was still $300 too expensive.

5. Go back to the drawing board. The other problem with the real estate market in this area is that there is no central source of information for people searching for apartments - the Washington Post classifieds, rentnet.com, etc. are usually filled with vague ads that require a lot of phone calls to narrow down. In Charlottesville (granted the market there is much smaller and in a much more compact area) almost every apartment for rent was on brac.com, which made the search a lot more efficient.

6. Do a lot of walking. Most apartments with good location and a good price turn out to be total dumps (see www.JuergenHaber.com) but it's hard to know until you look. This part sucks, especially if you don't live close to the area you're looking in.

7. Get there first. As Kalyna can attest, the market is vicious and good places usually go the day they are listed. If you want to take a day to think over a big decision like that, or even if you just sleep in a little bit, you're going to miss out.

8. Settle. While this isn't always the case, if you come in with ridiculous expectations, like I did, you're going to have to change your tune pretty quickly. I eventually found a place that was close enough to the Metro, kind of close to bars and restaurants, and not insanely expensive. And while I'm pretty happy with it (it does have a pool), it's certainly not the cheap high rise in the center of Clarendon that I was looking for.

So if you've wondered why I've been a little frustrated by this process, that's why. If you're planning an apartment search in the future, I wish you lots of luck. And if you can't find anything, you can always come sleep on my couch. Except, I don't have a couch....but that's for another post.

Team Names

2004-06-09T02:19:00.000-04:00

As a follow up to the last post, and as a summary of a conversation I had on my baseball road trip, the Lakers, Jazz, and Arizona Cardinals really need to change their names. They make no sense; most other teams that have location-specific names (the Senators, the Oilers) come up with new ones when they move.

NBA / NHL finals

2004-06-09T01:19:00.000-04:00

Seeing game seven of the Stanley Cup finals yesterday only served to remind me how much I dislike professional hockey. It's like watching soccer but not being able to see the ball. The league will probably collapse after next year, which is too bad because it's obvious that the players are out there giving it their all, and that there is a core group of die-hard fans that love the game. Actually I don't think the league is going to completely go out of existence, but there will likely be a protracted lockout and a fundamental realignment. I mean, this year's champs are from Tampa Bay. Are you kidding me? Shrink the league to 16 teams, none south of Washington DC, and put in a salary cap. Then maybe it will finally become solvent. I still won't watch though.

The NBA finals are marginally more entertaining, but really they drag on way too long and just take away from the baseball highlights on Sportscenter. Why does half of the league have to make the playoffs? I know they want the TV revenue, but come on. At least make more rounds best-of-5 instead of best-of-7. I am rooting for Detroit though, because I usually root for any team from Detroit, and because obviously who could root for the Lakers?

The Onion

2004-06-09T01:06:00.000-04:00

So as of a few months ago, the Onion has stopped allowing access to its archives. Now if you want to read any article more than three weeks old, you have to join "Onion Premium" for $29.99 a year. I can't really fault them for doing this, because they are a business and this is a good way to make money. Still, I really wonder how many people will pay thirty bucks for access to all of their back issues. I'm a pretty big fan, and I loved to send people old articles (usually after seeing someone do something stupid that they had written about), but I wouldn't pay more than $5 for that privilege. The one advantage the new service does have is that you can access every one of their old issues and not just the selective archives that they used to have. But still, if you like the Onion, I'd recommend just buying a few of their books instead of paying for Premium service. Or maybe splitting a subscription with me and four other people.

Ronald Reagan

2004-06-06T03:05:00.000-04:00

Ronald Reagan was one of the most important Presidents of the 20th Century; he was a principled man and a great leader. The United States, and the rest of the world, is worse for his passing.

Reagan's death makes me reflect on the current state of the Republican party and on our current President. George W. Bush is a poor sketch of Ronald Reagan, and unfortunately he will stand as the face of the GOP for our generation. I fear countless young people will permanently turn away from the party because of the extreme hatred (irrational as some of it may be) his personality and policies engender around the world.

Where have you gone, John McCain?

Tom Brady For President

2004-06-06T02:53:00.000-04:00

It has come time for this blog to formally endorse a candidate in the 2004 Presidential election. John Kerry is an uninspiring, milquetoast communist. George W. Bush is an unintelligent, orwellian bible-thumper. Therefore, I give you: Tom Brady for President.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is a two-time Super Bowl MVP and a proven leader. He has the vision, the charisma, and the work ethic required to lead our country in these uncertain times. He diplomatically handled the delicate transfer of power from the much hailed, but faded, Bledsoe regime, and has triumphed as both an underdog and a favorite. To boot, as a guest of President Bush's at the 2003 State of the Union address, he clearly has some interest in politics, while not being burdened by years of unsightly dealmaking like most career public servants. So I say, let the greatest Patriot of all time take charge and lead this great nation to victory.

This blog also endorses Adam Vinatieri for Vice-President.

Estate Tax

2004-06-06T02:00:00.000-04:00

This post is to preempt what Paul will say in his blog tonight or tomorrow. I'll probably add more after I read what he writes.

Basically, the argument for the estate tax is this: it prevents America from becoming an aristocracy, where extremely wealthy families pass on their huge fortunes to their children. This keeps us in line with the capitalist ideal that everyone should earn their own money, and that large inheritances take away an incentive for competition.

This is a valid stance, but I have some problems with it. First, it is very difficult to draw a line as to what inheritance is too large. $100,000? $1 million? $10 million? A lot of that depends on who is inheriting the money, and if it is a liquid inheritance, as opposed to an asset like a house or a boat.

Second, and more importantly, I believe that people have a fundamental right to do whatever they want with the money they earn. And they have a right to be stupid. If I were Bill Gates, I would certainly give away most of my fortune before I died, so my kids would be forced to do something fairly productive with their lives. But the government shouldn't force me to do it; if I want to let my kids become rich, spoiled brats, then it's certainly my right. A lot of people will make the argument that this money is income for my children and should be taxed as such, but that's not true. It's a gift, same as if I was giving it to a random stranger I pulled off the street. It WAS income when I earned it; if you think I kept too much of it in the first place, you should lobby for a higher income tax or capital gains tax. But now that I've earned it, it's mine to use as I please.

The last two points I'll make are as follows. First, as with almost every other political issue I discuss, I think the estate tax should be decided on a state level. I don't think inheritance should be taxed, but if the people in New York do, then they can certainly institute one for themselves. I don't like forcing my decisions on the whole country on most issues; if I have the right to decide for myself, than so should everyone else, down to the level where it is feasible (inheritance tax on a local level would probably be a little messy). Secondly, I accept the fact that I'd have to reconsider this argument if the United States somehow became burdened by an idle aristocracy that constituted 5-10% of the population, and made America look like 18th century France. But I think that with income taxes at the level they are, combined with the fact that most people will pass a fortune down to more than one child, this will not ever be the case. A small coterie of extremely wealthy families is possibly a natural consequence of capitalism, and they should be celebrated as champions of the system until they prove themselves to be otherwise.

Political Philosophy

2004-06-06T01:48:00.000-04:00

I was about to write on the estate tax, when I realized I should probably state my general political philosophy, so on the off chance anyone ever reads this blog, he or she will know where I'm coming from.

Basically I consider myself a libertarian or moderate Republican, in the sense that I'm generally conservative on economic issues and liberal on social issues. I usually say moderate Republican because most people are stupid and don't know what a libertarian is, and because from what I've seen, there are many more socially liberal Republicans out there than economically conservative Democrats.

But that doesn't mean I never change my mind.

Smarty Jones

2004-06-06T01:46:00.000-04:00

There are probably a lot of people out there who are disappointed that Smarty Jones didn't win the Belmont Stakes, but to tell you the truth, I'm kind of glad. Triple Crown winners should have impressive names, like "War Admiral" or "Affirmed". "Smarty Jones" sounds like a character in a children's book.

About Me

2004-06-06T01:42:00.000-04:00

I was going to post telling you who I was, but I just finished putting a bunch of stuff in my eBlogger profile, so if you really want to know my personal info (including credit card numbers), you can check that out. Plus I'd be really surprised if anyone reading this blog didn't know who I was already (Vice President Dick Cheney).

They have the internet on computers these days?

2004-06-06T00:54:00.000-04:00

Alright, so this is my blog. Why did I start it now? The official reason is that I've been meaning to start one for a while. The actual reason is that I went to register with eBlogger so I could post a comment on Paul's blog (Start Here by Paul Anderson) and ended up taking the extra two minutes to start one on my own.

What's going to be in the blog? My guess is that it will turn into a forum for inane comments, rambling thoughts, and some bitter, sarcastic jokes. Then, after a month or so, I'll get bored and realize no one reads it, and stop posting. For now, though, I suppose I'll focus on politics and sports and whatever else I feel like talking about.

Enjoy.